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Thatoneguy

FRO Final Restraint Order in NJ

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There's no such thing as a perfectly safe brush with the courts, not here or anywhere. They stay employed by fucking us. Judges, prosecutors, court officers, sherrifs, police, stenographers, even the shoe shine guy in the court lobby, all depend on keeping you in the system as long and as often as possible.

 

They count on people like you, who think that telling the truth will be enough, to screw it up. Which you did. For something this serious you don't even put your court shoes on without a lawyer who will do the lying and bullshitting for you in a way that will give the judge a hardon. When they see you mean business they cut you slack. When they see you're a babe in the woods they take out the proctoscopy tools.

 

Unfortunately you've probably already admitted to enough culpability. Email -- ugh. But have we really come to the point where you can't call a slut a slut without losing basic constitutional rights?

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Well I wasn't exactly "kind" when I found out the girl I was with was sleeping with another man. I called her a slut and a few other choice words, and continued trying to get an explanation, or apology,but I never threatened harm. I just didn't show to the second court date because the judge said if the order became final I'd be prohibited from possessing firearms for two years and at the time I was tired of arguing, tired of seeing her, tired of traveling to NJ, and just decided "f'it I'll just not show, let her win, and give up my rights for 2 yrs" but as mention before I guess I was mislead as to the severity of this ridiculous life long ban. Especially a ban that I look at as being pointless. If someone wanted to do harm to someone, they would, a piece of paper wouldn't stop someone from doing so. And a restraint order that lasts for life is just screwing someone's life forever, over a relationship issue that probably typically lasts a short heated period of time before most people from both sides move on with their lives and other people. I'm being harshly punished and have never even been convicted of a crime.

 

You don't have to "threaten harm" to have the FRO against you. If she FEELS threatened by it is what they go by.  By you not showing up for the hearing, they granted the FRO, even though you could have explained your side. That was not a smart move on your part. 

 

If you would have showed up for the FRO hearing....and explained it to the judge like you just did to me, you might not be in the situation you are in. It sucks brother. 

 

Now you have to get a lawyer to fight it. 

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Haha. I know how the system works. Family Court is always against men. You are always assumed to be guilty and have to prove you are innocent. Men always get the shaft in divorce court in the PRNJ too. DV charges are tough. Like I mentioned before, it is not always what the man says, but how the woman FEELS about what is said to her. If she feels threatened and there are emails, texts, voicemails, etc. My advice to men is do NOT leave a voicemail, text or email threatening the ex. It will always come back to bite you in the ass in the courtroom. Conversely, there are plenty of women out there who lie about being assaulted, threatened, etc. With no proof, the TRO usually gets thrown out. 

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Some FYI......

 

The Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) lasts until a subsequent court order extends or dissolves the order, or replaces the order with a Final Restraining Order (FRO). There is no time limit on FROs in New Jersey.

 

If you already have a Domestic Violence Final Restraining Order (FRO) and want to return to court to modify or change your restraining order you must file a motion or affidavit requesting modification with the Domestic Violence Unit.

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Odd question.

But if we file restraining orders against each other,could we have justifiable need? Together.

I'm kidding of course, or am I. Dun dun dun dah...

 

If one of you has the FRO against the other, someone is a prohibited person.  :no:

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Haha. I know how the system works. Family Court is always against men. You are always assumed to be guilty and have to prove you are innocent. Men always get the shaft in divorce court in the PRNJ too. DV charges are tough. Like I mentioned before, it is not always what the man says, but how the woman FEELS about what is said to her. If she feels threatened and there are emails, texts, voicemails, etc. My advice to men is do NOT leave a voicemail, text or email threatening the ex. It will always come back to bite you in the ass in the courtroom. Conversely, there are plenty of women out there who lie about being assaulted, threatened, etc. With no proof, the TRO usually gets thrown out. 

Not just in NJ the court system is broken and wastes MILLIONS in TAX money. I've sat in court in more than one state and have seen a Judges sit on the bench for less than 30 minutes in a 5 hour period. Folks add it up, all the attorneys sitting out there charging clients by the hour, all the sheriffs deputies playing on their cell phones, all the court staff. This is just the tip of the wasteful system.

Oh and if you think when they're in the back taking care of business about cases you're wrong, I've been back there and have watched 2-3 attorneys who are charging clients while they talk of the sweet 16, football, vacations or golf etc.

I was just recently banished from a court room here in the county I live in for suggesting the pregnant Judge take a leave after she wasn't even able to get thru the AM roll call before lunch because she had hemorrhoids. Yeah 3.5 hrs to just not call the cases.

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Family Court is always against men. You are always assumed to be guilty and have to prove you are innocent. Men always get the shaft in divorce court in the PRNJ too. 

 

Not to stray off topic but have to disagree with you there.  My experience has been the court sides with the biggest asshole and lets them get away with bullshit.

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Not to stray off topic but have to disagree with you there.  My experience has been the court sides with the biggest asshole and lets them get away with bullshit.

The various components of "The System" operate independently but perfectly harmoniously toward their collective self interest. Social psychology. No smoke filled rooms, no formal agreements, they don't even have to wink and nod at one another. They operate like a colony of bees or ants, with each individual understanding and executing his role. They know for example that it's more profitable to drop the gun charge, plea down the attempted murder, and parole the scumbag with six priors because he'll be back on the merry-go-round a few months after his release. OTOH they'll never get Aitken or any of you again so they throw the book at you for a "gun crime."

 

That being said not showing up in court is on par with "I didn't think it was loaded" as an excuse. I'm sure you're aware of what happens when the officer doesn't show in traffic court? "Case" gets tossed. And if you don't show they issue a warrant for your arrest (in my experience). 

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That being said not showing up in court is on par with "I didn't think it was loaded" as an excuse. I'm sure you're aware of what happens when the officer doesn't show in traffic court? "Case" gets tossed. And if you don't show they issue a warrant for your arrest (in my experience). 

 

Family court is different.  You are essentially allowed to be unresponsive and delay delay delay, to the detriment of the other party ... judges DO NOT want to make a decision.

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Family court is different.  You are essentially allowed to be unresponsive and delay delay delay, to the detriment of the other party ... judges DO NOT want to make a decision.

Evidently that was not the case here. He didn't show and they moved forward. Regardless, seems wise to have an attorney explain such nuances instead of freelancing it. There's more than one reason why the acronym IANAL contains the word "anal."

 

It's terrible, awful to have to hire a lawyer. They're over-priced but it's their game, their system, which they've rigged in their favor. But this is what unfortunately happens when you don't bite the bullet and shell out the $2-3 k for routine crap like this. 

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