Handyman

Looks like the frogs are finally jumping out of the boiling pot.

Don't stay still in one place too long in San Fran or someone will drop a deuce on you.

I wonder who the DOJ will focus all their investigations on?

At least his death won't serve as an obstacle to him continuing to vote democrat.

Too soon. RIP, Jimmy; have a Margarita in heaven for me.

I call BS. It's not due to theft, it's an excuse for mismanagement.

Fair enough, but it's not my little winkie you need to be concerned about when you break in my house.

If that was a black woman climbing through the window of the federal courthouse in Seattle and got shot, what would the media be saying right now?

Have you seen the new Danish children's TV show about the man with a huge prehensile pecker?

I'd make sure you know in detail all the ins and outs of the relationship so you don't become the inspiration for the next round of John Wick movies.

Make sure the current owners aren't paying protection money to the Russian mafia. And when you hire a few slobs to run the pumps, remember NJ's skyrocketing minimum wage.

This'll be news to my doctor. He thinks I'm a fat slob.

More like "A-hole."

Seriously. 90% of the gun violence in NJ is probably localized to a few communities (specially, democrat run urban cesspits). The people committing 99% of gun violence are people with long criminal histories involved in gangs and-or the drug trade. For this, the state chooses to restrict the civil rights of law abiding citizens. Makes you wonder why bother to be law abiding at times.

As long as I could watch, I'd be ok with that.

Is that the same as a sausage in your prison wallet?

I think they just want her around as eye candy.

Too much work. Jimmy Dean takes care of it for me.

Sounds like it would be more effective to ban urban shite-holes.

Screw you! Just kidding - Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Try putting some liberal tears on there.

I never even partied like it was 1999. That's cause the panic then was Y2K was supposed to make all the electricity shut off.

That's probably to try to get the muzzies to stop throwing gay guys off the roof.

Sounds like you just weren't going fast enough.

I'm wondering if I could plausibly apply this to a former mother in law and blame spontaneous human combustion.