OK, I can see cut and paste is the new (lazy) way for humor and jokes. So here is one of my old cop jokes from many moons ago.
There is this bar that one particular officer stays in hiding outside every night around closing.
His mission: To arrest the first disorderly drunk before he can drive away.
So like any night, he awaits his unsuspected victim.
Out strolls this unsuspected soul. Stumbling down the stairs, drops his keys and fumbles to pick them up several times, trips and falls head over heals... He finally gets into his car and just as he starts it, the officers says, "Stay right there and put your hands on the steering wheel.." The officer shines his flashlight around and asks the fellow to get out of his car and as doing so, asks what has he done? The officer says, "I'm guessing your are drunk as a skunk and if you are, I will tow your car and arrest you".
He exclaimed that he was in no way drunk.
Officer says, "OK, time for some sobriety tests". I want you to walk that white line. He does so and he walks it perfect. He then asks him to balance himself on one foot. He does so without moving an inch. The officer is scratching his head. The fellow said, "I told you I am not drunk". Officer says, "BS, you must be. I just watched you take multiple falls, drop your keys, etc. So one more test".
He whips out his ACME XXX Breath Analyzer. The guy blows a perfect 0.0 on the meter. Now the cop is frustrated and very confused. He said, "I just don't get it. How can you not be drunk"? The fellow said, "I've been telling you that". In the mean time, the bar has emptied and they were the last 2 standing there. The fellow said, "tonight, it was my turn". Officer said, '"turn for what"?
"TO BE THE DESIGNATED DECOY"!!!