My son was threaten by a classmate to be shot in the head

[Wojo 98]

So I get an interesting call from the principal today. She told me that my son who is in 6th grade, was threaten by another student. That student said he was going to buy / bring a gun to school on Monday and shoot my son in the head. Several classmates heard it and said he seemed serious and it wasn't in a kidding around type of way. The kid has issues and my son did the right thing and notified his teacher and then the principal removed him and called the local PD. When I got home, there was a message from the detective in the town where his school is. The parents have been ignoring the fact that this kid has issues and from all my professional research and studies, he has many characteristics in development that most killer kids have.

 

I was on the phone with the our CEO when the call came in and when I returned his call he was genuinely concerned about my son. Our company was called into VA Tech right after the shootings to help them deal with the aftermath so school shootings is something we are in tune with. I told him if my son got the gun out of his fellow students hand the outcome would not be too favorable because my son is quite the marksman.

 

Other points of interest. One of the other boys in the class also belongs to CR with his dad and his reaction was that his dad would kill him if he ever threaten to shoot someone. Another boy whose father is also a hunter remarked that if his father ever heard him make a threat like that his eyes would be swollen shut from the beating he would get. And one to the girls whose dad is also a hunter, stated that her father also would have flipped out and locked her in her room for a year. What does this say? It clearly indicates that responsible gun owners have talked to their kids how important and serious it is NOT to make threats or to talk about guns in school.

 

I don't want to ruin a young man's life, but, I want this to be some sort of catalyst for his parents to realize that this kid is acting out and screaming for attention. They need to do something before his life or the lives of others are ruined forever. We have had discussions about this kid with the principal and she confided to us that the school can only do so much and anything she has told the parents has fallen on deaf ears. If this was thirty years ago, I'd instruct my son to give him a big dose of 'what for' behind the school. And then I drag this little scum bag's father out of his house and give him a lesson as well.

 

Stay tuned on this one.

[Krdshrk 3,877]

Wow. I'm keeping watch on this.

[n4p226r 105]

thats crazy. unfortunately today, you cant be too careful when stuff like this gets said. absentee parents and the glamorizing of school violence in the media dont make it any better. good luck and stay safe

[mipafox 438]

So I get an interesting call from the principal today. She told me that my son who is in 6th grade, was threaten by another student. That student said he was going to buy / bring a gun to school on Monday and shoot my son in the head. Several classmates heard it and said he seemed serious and it wasn't in a kidding around type of way. The kid has issues and my son did the right thing and notified his teacher and then the principal removed him and called the local PD. When I got home, there was a message from the detective in the town where his school is. The parents have been ignoring the fact that this kid has issues and from all my professional research and studies, he has many characteristics in development that most killer kids have.

 

I was on the phone with the our CEO when the call came in and when I returned his call he was genuinely concerned about my son. Our company was called into VA Tech right after the shootings to help them deal with the aftermath so school shootings is something we are in tune with. I told him if my son got the gun out of his fellow students hand the outcome would not be too favorable because my son is quite the marksman.

 

Other points of interest. One of the other boys in the class also belongs to CR with his dad and his reaction was that his dad would kill him if he ever threaten to shoot someone. Another boy whose father is also a hunter remarked that if his father ever heard him make a threat like that his eyes would be swollen shut from the beating he would get. And one to the girls whose dad is also a hunter, stated that her father also would have flipped out and locked her in her room for a year. What does this say? It clearly indicates that responsible gun owners have talked to their kids how important and serious it is NOT to make threats or to talk about guns in school.

 

I don't want to ruin a young man's life, but, I want this to be some sort of catalyst for his parents to realize that this kid is acting out and screaming for attention. They need to do something before his life or the lives of others are ruined forever. We have had discussions about this kid with the principal and she confided to us that the school can only do so much and anything she has told the parents has fallen on deaf ears. If this was thirty years ago, I'd instruct my son to give him a big dose of 'what for' behind the school. And then I drag this little scum bag's father out of his house and give him a lesson as well.

 

Stay tuned on this one.

 

 

I did that a couple times a week as a kid. And the rest was the same, with parents etc., too. Except parents rarely were invited by the youngins and did not over-react the few times they did get told by some granola-crunching sissy that wasn't given life skills by his or her parent. And had eyes on the sides of his head and found his food on the ground, like his parents the sheep.

 

As kids we had to learn to deal with our peers. And we did it ourselves. We would go to our parents for guidance, but they refused to fix all of our problems or walk around with us to make sure everybody treated us with rose petals and rainbows.

 

When a real problem popped up, our parents would do what parents are suppose to do. Be the adult among adults.

 

Then they said boys will be boys but they promised a body if things got out of hand. Just like in this case (the latter of the last sentence). And there was no involvement of cops. There was never any need. People knew the rules of Man, in New Jersey. And nobody worried about some asteroid coming out of the sky because of Columbine. Nobody should today, either.

[bry@n 195]

I would absolutely follow through with the police and conver your a**. Forget about ruining a kids life, he could potentially go nuts and hurt somebody. May not be your kid at this time, but it could be somebody elses kid.

 

You said yourself that professionals think this kid is possibly an issue, I would follow through.

[SpecialK 193]

since moving to Jersey I have been surrounded my many more liberal types and I find they often threaten to kill or shoot someone. *get cut off* "If I only had a gun I'd shoot that fucker!" You hit the nail right on the head. Irresponsible parents (or where ever the kids are getting their information) these days are the issue not guns.

 

Do everything in your power to see that little snot is punished and smacked up side the head (preferably literally, but in these days metaphorically will probably have to do).

 

On the plus side I am happy to hear the reactions of the kids with the responsible parents.

[vjf915 456]

It clearly indicates that responsible gun owners have talked to their kids how important and serious it is NOT to make threats or to talk about guns in school.

This whole story clearly indicates that the kid has some VERY SERIOUS mental issues that need to be taken care of, and THEN they can let him back on school property....maybe. Responsible gun owners or non-gun owners, anybody who has 1/8 of a semi-civil brain isn't as messed up in the head as this kid is. I personally think that this is the point and time when you should also contact a lawyer, and threaten to sue the school if they don't SERIOUSLY act on this.....even if you have no intentions of it, only to light a fire under their a** and actually get something accomplished. Go past the principal and contact the superintendent, or whomever it will take to have this kid removed from school before he flies off the wall. I think it's a much better idea to ruin one evil persons life, than to do nothing to stop one evil person from ruining many innocent lives. I sincerely hope that you act on this.

[vietboy1st 1]

Should they put that kid to a special education school or at least give him some medicine? Or should we make a law to register for all the mental health peoples same as sex offenders? Hmmm Should you transfer your kid to a new school or what ?

[joejaxx 38]

So I get an interesting call from the principal today. She told me that my son who is in 6th grade, was threaten by another student. That student said he was going to buy / bring a gun to school on Monday and shoot my son in the head. Several classmates heard it and said he seemed serious and it wasn't in a kidding around type of way. The kid has issues and my son did the right thing and notified his teacher and then the principal removed him and called the local PD. When I got home, there was a message from the detective in the town where his school is. The parents have been ignoring the fact that this kid has issues and from all my professional research and studies, he has many characteristics in development that most killer kids have.

 

I was on the phone with the our CEO when the call came in and when I returned his call he was genuinely concerned about my son. Our company was called into VA Tech right after the shootings to help them deal with the aftermath so school shootings is something we are in tune with. I told him if my son got the gun out of his fellow students hand the outcome would not be too favorable because my son is quite the marksman.

 

Other points of interest. One of the other boys in the class also belongs to CR with his dad and his reaction was that his dad would kill him if he ever threaten to shoot someone. Another boy whose father is also a hunter remarked that if his father ever heard him make a threat like that his eyes would be swollen shut from the beating he would get. And one to the girls whose dad is also a hunter, stated that her father also would have flipped out and locked her in her room for a year. What does this say? It clearly indicates that responsible gun owners have talked to their kids how important and serious it is NOT to make threats or to talk about guns in school.

 

I don't want to ruin a young man's life, but, I want this to be some sort of catalyst for his parents to realize that this kid is acting out and screaming for attention. They need to do something before his life or the lives of others are ruined forever. We have had discussions about this kid with the principal and she confided to us that the school can only do so much and anything she has told the parents has fallen on deaf ears. If this was thirty years ago, I'd instruct my son to give him a big dose of 'what for' behind the school. And then I drag this little scum bag's father out of his house and give him a lesson as well.

 

Stay tuned on this one.

 

Better to ruin a kids life and let him learn a life lesson than have another school shooting that could have been prevented.

[7-3-2 9]

Yeah I think you really need to follow up with this and make sure the kid gets his act straightened out now before you have to live with the regret of not preventing something you could have.

[Pizza Bob 1,488]

We have had discussions about this kid with the principal and she confided to us that the school can only do so much and anything she has told the parents has fallen on deaf ears.

 

 

Wojo:

 

What happened to the zero tolerance policies most schools have in place? We so often see them used for ridiculous things, like pictures of guns on a T-shirt, or the like, here's a case where it might actually do some good. Did they at least suspend the kid that made the threat? And if they have had multiple problems with this kid, culminating in this death threat, I would think they could remove him from the mainstream permanently. Good luck with the outcome, you've certainly got my attention.

 

Adios,

 

Pizza Bob

[heaterbob 53]

I would bet there is more to the story than your kid told you, there has to be a reason for the other kid saying that.

[Pizza Bob 1,488]

Other points of interest. One of the other boys in the class also belongs to CR with his dad and his reaction was that his dad would kill him if he ever threaten to shoot someone. Another boy whose father is also a hunter remarked that if his father ever heard him make a threat like that his eyes would be swollen shut from the beating he would get. And one to the girls whose dad is also a hunter, stated that her father also would have flipped out and locked her in her room for a year. What does this say? It clearly indicates that responsible gun owners have talked to their kids how important and serious it is NOT to make threats or to talk about guns in school.

 

 

One other thing I took away from this thread. I'm not so sure that the comments like, "My dad would kill me" or, the eyes swollen shut, exhibit the greatest parenting skills either. When we hear about incidences, such as this threat, maybe the first place we need to look is within ourselves. Obviously this kids parents just don't care (at least from the information at hand), but it would worry me that kids whose parents are gun owners, fear physical retribution (to the degree expressed - I'm not anti-corporal punishment) for their transgressions.

 

Adios,

 

Pizza Bob

[Wojo 98]

I spoke a good friend who is a LT and specialized in school violence and prevention...FWIW, his PhD was on NJ PD's being able to respond to active shooters in the schools and student profiles. I spoke to my best friend who is an attorney and all avenues are being explored at this time. The school acted accordingly and once they pass it off to the PD, it is a legal matter on one hand and the school still needs to decide what they are going to do. For the moment he is suspended and I will be in the principal's office first thing Monday morning demanding that he is not allowed to return until he has a full psych evaluation conducted. That alone is going to hit the pockets of the parents and will help lay a road map of what is going on with this kid.

 

My understanding of the law in NJ is this with JV's. This incident will not be viewed as a "terroristic threat" and because no weapon was present, the age of the offender and this being a first time incident there will be some intervention. After I meet with the school and the detective on Monday, I will have a clearer picture of my options and will be able to make a better judgement. At the very least, a full evaluation will be done on this kid, or I press charges at a state level. I plan to back the parents into a corner in order for them to get the help this kid needs.

 

I was also told that once the investigation goes on, that this might completely be out of my control and become a state matter. Similar to a domestic or child abuse case.

 

As far as some of the 'unfavorable' remarks other parents have made regarding discipline, well that it is up to them. My usual line is that I will slap you back to last week so you have a chance to get it right next time. Parents aren't perfect. I'm sure we could start a very funny thread of what our parents have threaten us with or things we have said to our kids.

[Wojo 98]

Should they put that kid to a special education school or at least give him some medicine? Or should we make a law to register for all the mental health peoples same as sex offenders? Hmmm Should you transfer your kid to a new school or what ?

 

I am not transferring my kid because of some other kid. HIS parents will be the ones looking for a new school. FWIW, it is an excellent Catholic School. Discipline, respect and academics are paramount unlike our public schools. I can't get into what this school does to make great kids into exceptional adults. But for starters, the older kids have to mentor the younger ones, they help teach literacy programs to people just learning English, the 8th graders in the spring have to sleep in the school parking lot for two days / nights in cardboard shelters that they have to make to get a sense of being homeless...etc. The academics are also exceptional, you don't leave a school like this.

[hd2000fxdl 422]

Wow, Ridiculous. This would have been dealt with properly when I was a kid and it would done with promptly. 99.9999% of the time would have been nothing more than poorly chosen words and the kid that said it would have been punished and learned that it was not a joke and would never do it again. This was back in the day when we could as kids play cowboys and Indians in the woods and it would be just the kids playing and not be joined by the ATF, FBI and local law enforcement.

 

Unfortunately todays world is a lot different and the mindset of kids these days and what many dem as acceptable (poor parenting) is a lot different and even if it is more than likely nothing more than words, in todays world you have to give a much larger look at this as sad as it may be, it needed to be treated as a credible threat. Just wish my daughter was able to grow up in my time and not todays world, but we, the responsible parents can only provide clear and proper parenting and advise and hope for the best of other parents on how they are raising the children our come in contact with.

 

Hope for the best and will be waiting to see how this is handled.

 

Harry

[hd2000fxdl 422]

One other thing I took away from this thread. I'm not so sure that the comments like, "My dad would kill me" or, the eyes swollen shut, exhibit the greatest parenting skills either. When we hear about incidences, such as this threat, maybe the first place we need to look is within ourselves. Obviously this kids parents just don't care (at least from the information at hand), but it would worry me that kids whose parents are gun owners, fear physical retribution (to the degree expressed - I'm not anti-corporal punishment) for their transgressions.

 

Adios,

 

Pizza Bob

 

I think the comment like that are not meant literally, but are exaggerations of some of the things we may have herd from our parents growing up or something along those lines. I think comment like that are meant to convey that when we were younger there were consequences to our actions and none of this ultra PC crap that we have today.

 

I sure know if I did something wrong as a kid, I would have had hell to pay from both my Mother (don't ever laugh when it doesn't hurt from her it only goes down hill from there) and Father when he got home from work.

 

I miss the world the way it was when I was younger, and also looking back, I probably would have like the generation before me world even better.

 

Harry

[MrP 81]

I was tempted to make a joke about how the young man couldn't possibly buy a gun, this is new jersey, why worry etc.

 

I'm very sorry this odd situation brought itself upon you, although I'd say you are more qualified to deal with it responsibly and professionally than 99% of people out there. Staying tuned.

[Wojo 98]

I was tempted to make a joke about how the young man couldn't possibly buy a gun, this is new jersey, why worry etc.

 

I'm very sorry this odd situation brought itself upon you, although I'd say you are more qualified to deal with it responsibly and professionally than 99% of people out there. Staying tuned.

 

I have no idea if this kid has access to any kind of firearms. I am inclined to believe that if his father or older brother has one in the home (legally or illegally), odds are they are not responsible enough to have secured properly. And if he is left unsupervised for long periods of time, he just might know where it is and how to get it if he needs it.

 

For the benefit of other gun owners, I am going to ask the detective if that home has any registered firearms...I'm curious if they (LEO) have already did a NJSP search on what might be in the house. Who knows, a stupid stunt like this by your kids or mine, could have the state looking to take everything away from you. Of course I am against that, and have NO wish to strip the family of their rights, but they better damn well have everything locked up.

[Pizza Bob 1,488]

I think the comment like that are not meant literally, but are exaggerations of some of the things we may have herd from our parents growing up or something along those lines.

 

 

Harry, That was my point. The kid that made the threat could use the same rationale - that is the type of stuff he hears at home, so he assumes that it's normal. Kids are like sponges, they absorb everything they see adults do & say.

[PeteF 1,044]

The problem with schools and kid's today is the "you can't touch me" mentality. You treat people a lot nicer when there is a chance you are gonna

get your a** kicked if you piss someone off. This also goes to parenting, when I was growing up if I talked back to my mother or father, I would

not be able to sit for a couple of hours. That teaches you real fast to think about your actions before you do or say something.

 

I'm all for "Let the kids work it out" train of thought. Back in the day you had a problem with a classmate, you duked it out and that was the end.

However when you threaten to bring a gun in and shoot someone, that's a whole different story.

 

And I definitely agree with Wojo. This kid should be expelled and be REQUIRED to get some psych evaluation before he's allowed back in any school.

[hd2000fxdl 422]

I'm all for "Let the kids work it out" train of thought. Back in the day you had a problem with a classmate, you duked it out and that was the end.

 

 

Thats was a different time and long gone, when I was a kid we did that and some times the one you fought really became to be good friends after words. Problem today is too many fights are not with fists, they are with some sort of weapon, be it a knife, stick, bat, or anything else they can get there hands on. Kind of depressing when you really think about the times we are in and they way things are for kids growing up.

 

Harry

[Wojo 98]

Some talk about other contributing factors...this kid has 'demanded' to see the other boy's privates while in the bathroom to the point of pulling them back wards while standing at the urinal. He will slide on his back under a stall to get a peak (I told my son to piss on his face if he does it again), spends recess time with the girls (who get creeped out by him) and does not play around with the other boys. He is not involved in any extra circular activities like recreational soccer, football, baseball, etc. Has no outside friends or kids in the neighbor to hang out with, even though there are plenty of kids around his area. He is very disrespectful to substitute teachers, doesn't care about his grades or his weekly responsibility reports because there aren't any repercussions at home and on and on and on.

 

The kid is a huge disruption to the class and my son has chastised him a few times because he can't concentrate on his work with this kid poking him in the back, throwing things at him etc.almost goading my son to take him out. I told the principal that my son has a breaking point like any other human and being a wrestler and football player, he is showing great restraint at not popping this kid one. My son has gone after much bigger kids on the football field if he was hit with a cheap shot or a late hit, my boy ain't no pansy. And for a 6th grader, he is 5'3" 105 lbs, skinny, but quite muscular and the tallest in his class. If you check out the Appleseed Thread you can see what he looks like. My son is a Sheepdog and looks out for the flock whether it is his sisters, his classmates or teammates. Crap, even during special church events they assign him to watch on our our most beloved, but very old and feeble priest so he doesn't fall or get himself into any trouble. I am very proud that he is showing such great restraint and maturity in this. His dad would have blown a fuse a long time ago.

[BCeagle 12]

Some talk about other contributing factors...this kid has 'demanded' to see the other boy's privates while in the bathroom to the point of pulling them back wards while standing at the urinal. He will slide on his back under a stall to get a peak (I told my son to piss on his face if he does it again), spends recess time with the girls (who get creeped out by him) and does not play around with the other boys. He is not involved in any extra circular activities like recreational soccer, football, baseball, etc. Has no outside friends or kids in the neighbor to hang out with, even though there are plenty of kids around his area. He is very disrespectful to substitute teachers, doesn't care about his grades or his weekly responsibility reports because there aren't any repercussions at home and on and on and on.

 

The kid is a huge disruption to the class and my son has chastised him a few times because he can't concentrate on his work with this kid poking him in the back, throwing things at him etc.almost goading my son to take him out. I told the principal that my son has a breaking point like any other human and being a wrestler and football player, he is showing great restraint at not popping this kid one. My son has gone after much bigger kids on the football field if he was hit with a cheap shot or a late hit, my boy ain't no pansy. And for a 6th grader, he is 5'3" 105 lbs, skinny, but quite muscular and the tallest in his class. If you check out the Appleseed Thread you can see what he looks like. My son is a Sheepdog and looks out for the flock whether it is his sisters, his classmates or teammates. Crap, even during special church events they assign him to watch on our our most beloved, but very old and feeble priest so he doesn't fall or get himself into any trouble. I am very proud that he is showing such great restraint and maturity in this. His dad would have blown a fuse a long time ago.

 

The kid has obvious problems and needs serious attention, peeking under stalls is equal to sexual assault.

 

My daughter was threatened by a kid in kindgarten who said he was spying on her and her cousin and said "i am going to kill you" the fact that he was muslim, like it or not made me even more nervous. Luckily the kid's parent took it very seriously and that has been the end of it, hasnt even spoken to my daughter since the parents stepped in. The teacher, principal etc all called us before my daughter was home from school. Your situation sounds 1000% worse, with the added info and the fact that he mentioned shooting.

 

You are right, as responsible gun owners we are much more careful than the avg person, I dont like my kids pointing fake guns at each other's heads. When its time to learn they will learn, right now they see me clean them and know they cant touch but when they hit 10 they will get a chance too see if they enjoy it.

[Anselmo 87]

Lots of kids have problems. Most can keep it together until about 17-19 years old before they "lose it". I think the tight structure of school helps out with that. We all know people that went a little crazy right after high school graduation.

 

In this situation, the kid is showing a lot of problem behavior at 12 years old. Hasn't even hit puberty yet. Things will only get worse in the next few years for the kid.

 

I agree with most of the sentiments expressed above that people with guns don't threaten to use them casually and that the parents need to do more but in this situation, I think the kid is beyond that. Some parents should not be parents. The kid has some serious mental/emotional issues. The school knows this. His parents know this. Now, the police know this. Sounds like the kid is a weirdo. We've all met weirdos. There is no easy solution.

[vjf915 456]

Some talk about other contributing factors...this kid has 'demanded' to see the other boy's privates while in the bathroom to the point of pulling them back wards while standing at the urinal. He will slide on his back under a stall to get a peak (I told my son to piss on his face if he does it again), spends recess time with the girls (who get creeped out by him) and does not play around with the other boys. He is not involved in any extra circular activities like recreational soccer, football, baseball, etc. Has no outside friends or kids in the neighbor to hang out with, even though there are plenty of kids around his area. He is very disrespectful to substitute teachers, doesn't care about his grades or his weekly responsibility reports because there aren't any repercussions at home and on and on and on.

+1 on telling your son to pee on his face. What I don't understand is I thought you said this was a private school? A private school should have no problem kicking this kid out.

[matty 810]

+1 on telling your son to pee on his face. What I don't understand is I thought you said this was a private school? A private school should have no problem kicking this kid out.

 

Yeah, and a Catholic school to boot??? Bergen Catholic or Paramus? Don Bosco? I know there are probably no more nuns in there, but still. On eof the major reasons parents send kids there is for the structured environment and no nonsense (at least it was) administration. IIRC, when I graduated 8th grade many years ago, about 30% of the class did not go to the public high school in thetown, they ended up at one of those or some others

[Wojo 98]

My wife and I really downplayed this with him over the weekend, but today my wife and my son ran some errands so she could talk to him without his three sisters chiming in. Turns out the Detective I am meeting with is also the DARE officer who was just in the school a couple of weeks ago to talk to the kids. During her presentation, this kid was unruly with her and was announcing to the class that he was going to do drugs and experiment with marijuana the next time his parents weren't around. The DARE officer had to reprimand him and tell him that his comments weren't appropriate. This can't get any easier for me to demand he gets that psych-eval before returning to class if he acted out this way to the Detective who is handling the case. What kid in their right mind (key word right) would behave like this to authority at that age? Come on already!

 

We have instructed him to say NOTHING at school on Monday. He is allowed to say that between his parents, the school and the police the kid is going to get the help he needs.

[Krdshrk 3,877]

Ugh. I know firsthand how DARE doesn't work. The DARE Class award winner in my middle school was convicted of drug posession a couple years later in HS....

[Wojo 98]

Ugh. I know firsthand how DARE doesn't work. The DARE Class student official in my middle school was convicted of drug posession a couple years later in HS....

 

DARE was way after my time. But when I was stationed in Alaska, our alcoholic counselor was on of the biggest lushes on base with a bad temper. During one of his drunken fits of anger, he went after my neighbor and I would up jumping on his back and choking him out until he blacked out. He was about 6 inches taller and about 75 lbs heavier than me. I saved his military career by stopping him. Found out he was mixing Bacardi and pain meds...great counselor.