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Maksim

Daily humor thread

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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
 
 
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:
 
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife

and two small children.
 
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife

comes around the corner,

locks eyes with you,

screams obscenities,

raises the knife, and charges at you...
 
You are carrying a

Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

 

THINK CAREFULLY AND

THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer:
 
Well, that's not enough inform-ation to answer the question!
 
What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
 
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
 
Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
 
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
 
Could we run away?
 
What does my wife think?
 
What about the kids?
 
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
 
What does the law say about this situation?
 
Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it?
 
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
 
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
 
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
 
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
 
Should I call 9-1-1?
 
Why is this street so deserted?
 
We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
 
Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
 
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
 
This is all so confusing!

.......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ........ ...

Republican's Answer:
 
 
BANG!
 
 

.......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ......... .....
Southerner's Answer:
 
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG !
Click.... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Click
 
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'

'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!
 
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
 
Wife: 'You are
NOT
taking that to a Taxidermist!

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Glad she showed what an idiot she is by fucking up the acronym.

She's also wrong about PTSD, struggles of ones ancestors, or any other life experience affecting your DNA. It doesn't work that way. But, there can be lingering effects on gene expression...so I'll forgive her not understanding the difference between genetics and epigenetics, and go back to wondering why the general public can't grasp the difference between automatic and semiautomatic.

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