Daily humor thread

[Bighungry618 450]

Just now, Downtownv said:

That 90% fat, 5% bone you use this type hog for reproduction only, not for food sourcing.

Not even @Zekeis that horny.  

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

9 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

That 90% fat, 5% bone you use this type hog for reproduction only, not for food sourcing.

Wow...

[njpilot 671]

Satire:

Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democratic presumptive presidential nominee Joe Biden was cleared in federal court today of charges that some claimed were based upon credible allegations of sexual assault when the judge quickly realized that Joe Biden was not a Republican.

“Well, this looks pretty serious… let’s see who is on—wait a minute. He’s a Democrat! I can find no fault with him,” declared a fourth circuit federal judge hearing preliminary claims. 

“It is well established in this court that Republicans are the ones who want to silence women and control their bodies. Haven’t you seen The Handmaid’s Tale?” the judge further added before banging down the gavel.

The bailiff immediately grabbed the female accuser by the collar and threw her up into the air out onto the sidewalk, just like in the cartoons.

The allegations against then-Senator Joe Biden date back to 1993. Several other people had corroborated key details relating to the seriousness and timing of the intern’s story including a discovered CNN clip of her mother calling The Larry King Show and a neighbor confirming that the woman had told her at the time what had happened. However, this circumstantial evidence of vile behavior, even interpreted under the generous standard of "believe all women" set by the government in prior cases involving Republicans, was declared to only be valid if the alleged perpetrator was a greedy, evil Republican.

“This is a victory for the judicial standard in our country of assuming the accused are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law,” stated Alyssa Milano. “We always need to maintain this standard of maintaining silence and withholding judgment on such cases when it is convenient and maintains our narratives.”

“I believe and hear you, Joe” she added.

At publishing time, celebrities were circulating a video in which they were singing individual lines of "Imagine" off-key in support of the rich, old, white male Democrat who was promising to take down the bad orange man.

[Scorpio64 5,147]

2 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

Wow...

I know, right!  Just look at those wide white walls on that Beetle.

[Downtownv 1,774]

2 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

Wow...

Get a Bucket! There's a milk shortage!

[45Doll 5,873]

Sit down, strap yourself in if necessary, and listen to the story of Brenda's Beaver Needs A Barber:

 

[Zeke 5,504]

9 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

Sit down, strap yourself in if necessary, and listen to the story of Brenda's Beaver Needs A Barber:

 

Full series of these on YouTube with pictures. They are all funny as hell

[45Doll 5,873]

2 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Full series of these on YouTube with pictures. They are all funny as hell

Really? I'll have to look for them. It was brand new for me today. I spent the whole five minutes laughing with this woman and it's not even Beer Thirty yet!

[Downtownv 1,774]

15 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

Sit down, strap yourself in if necessary, and listen to the story of Brenda's Beaver Needs A Barber:

 

I don't think you could get a better story teller than this lady!

[Pizza Bob 1,488]

OMG  ROTFLMAO

[njJoniGuy 2,131]

When did Dr. Seuss start writing porn?? 

 

eta: These look hysterical!

[Zeke 5,504]

@45Doll 

here’s your start down the spiral

 

[WP22 1,558]

///

 

[Zeke 5,504]

more research for my learned friend @45Doll

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[silverado427 10,679]

[CMJeepster 2,777]

On 5/1/2020 at 4:46 PM, 45Doll said:

Sit down, strap yourself in if necessary, and listen to the story of Brenda's Beaver Needs A Barber:

 

@Golf battery sent that one to me the other day.  Funny stuff!

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

Poor beaver. 

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[Downtownv 1,774]

14 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Poor beaver. 

I never seen a poor one they are like a money press/maker

[WP22 1,558]

////

 

[AlDente67 563]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C63gJmDIJ80

 

Blacl guy getting protested bt BLM and say JFC, lol!

[Scorpio64 5,147]

1 hour ago, Displaced Texan said:

Poor beaver. 

[njpilot 671]

[45Doll 5,873]

[silverado427 10,679]

[Downtownv 1,774]

King Bucky Beaver's Goons

[Downtownv 1,774]

Ohhhhh That poor horse! Call the SPCA!

 

 

[Displaced Texan 11,731]