Daily humor thread

[silverado427 10,675]

[njJoniGuy 2,131]

 

[Downtownv 1,773]

[xXxplosive 823]

Pinnochio Joe..........

[silverado427 10,675]

[Downtownv 1,773]

American History Review  circa 2020:

 The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

 

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good!

 

Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"

Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing.

 

"Let's try one a bit more difficult. Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"

 Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."

 

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do."

 

She heard a loud whisper: "F___ the Japs."

"Who said that? I want to know right now!" ...she angrily demanded.

 

Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."

 

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

 

The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"

Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

 

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

 

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

 

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little sh!t! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

 

Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

 

The teacher fainted.

  As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh!t, we're screwed!"

 

Little Akio said quietly, "The American public if Joe Biden gets elected."

[45Doll 5,873]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

4 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

Please pass the eye bleach. 

[Handyman 5,682]

9 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Please pass the eye bleach. 

If you look at the medusa, you turn to stone. But we're stuck with that picture the rest of our lives. The medusa would have been better. 

[Downtownv 1,773]

I didn't even know there was a face, until you panty wastes ruined it for me! WHY are you guys looking at the face?

There were 2 other things my eyes went IMMEDIATELY!

Lord, thank you for giving me large hands.

[Scorpio64 5,147]

14 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Please pass the eye bleach. 

If I dropped dead at this very moment.  My eyes would not be suitable for organ donor transplant.  The poor recipient would reject the eyes not even knowing why and probably die from Covid-19/SARS--2/Chinese Plague

[45Doll 5,873]

So, avert your gazes!

[JohnnyB 4,321]

18 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

So, avert your gazes!

She definitely looks better than Pelosi. Probably a nicer person too!

[45Doll 5,873]

46 minutes ago, JohnnyB said:

She definitely looks better than Pelosi. Probably a nicer person too!

Clash Of The Titans, 1981

Six years before Pelosi showed up in congress.

[silverado427 10,675]

2 hours ago, 45Doll said:

Run this pic by Zeke. 

[silverado427 10,675]

[Downtownv 1,773]

[silverado427 10,675]

[xXxplosive 823]

[Handyman 5,682]

Left side of his face looks less mobile. Maybe he stroked out. 

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[Sniper 6,372]

[silverado427 10,675]

[xXxplosive 823]

Good year.........No More.

 

 

[10X 3,296]

If they'd kept "Unacceptable: Political Affiliated Slogans and Material" and gotten rid of everything else in the Zero Tolerance policy, they would have accomplished the same thing with little or no controversy.

Going into more specifics only stirred a bunch of hornets nests.

[raz-0 1,259]

Banning political speech while exempting some political speech is usually a bad plan.

[Tunaman 548]

On 8/18/2020 at 8:09 PM, Handyman said:

Left side of his face looks less mobile. Maybe he stroked out. 

He had 2 brain surgeries...I think it was aneurysms

[njJoniGuy 2,131]

Yes, and apparently, they removed or killed off too much brain tissue in the process of the repairs for him to lead a cognizant existence well into his seventies. Joe's brain is toast, and even before he gets started, but that's exactly what the party wants. A totally malleable figurehead.

How about "Four Years at Bernie's  Biden's"?

[Sniper 6,372]

[Handyman 5,682]

4 hours ago, Tunaman said:

He had 2 brain surgeries...I think it was aneurysms

I wonder if they left anything behind after the surgery, or if they just hollowed him out.