Daily humor thread

[Scorpio64 5,147]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

9 minutes ago, Scorpio64 said:

Still of better quality than the current Ram. 

[Scorpio64 5,147]

[Scorpio64 5,147]

[Scorpio64 5,147]

[10X 3,296]

 

[M1152 713]

https://twitter.com/FredSchultz35/status/1572233732341510148

 

[silverado427 10,675]

[Scorpio64 5,147]

Can I Speak to Mom?

Hello?”
“Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”
Brief Pause.
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” he asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn’t moving either.”
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[silverado427 10,675]

[silverado427 10,675]

[45Doll 5,873]

1 hour ago, silverado427 said:

"And  the DOJ and FBI are swatting anyone opposed to the regime..."

[silverado427 10,675]

[silverado427 10,675]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[silverado427 10,675]

[Mr.Stu 1,916]

8 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

The follow up is

 

Her: I didn't know you were married before.

Him: I wasn't

[silverado427 10,675]

[45Doll 5,873]

THIS! ^^^^^^^

Next up on deck for the MUTE button: Kathy Lee Gifford

[silverado427 10,675]

[silverado427 10,675]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

[silverado427 10,675]

[silverado427 10,675]

[Displaced Texan 11,731]

New ‘My Pillow’ ad. 
 

https://rumble.com/v1m31vq-best-pillow-commercial-ever.html

[silverado427 10,675]

[silverado427 10,675]

[Bklynracer 1,263]

On 9/28/2022 at 9:57 AM, 45Doll said:

THIS! ^^^^^^^

Next up on deck for the MUTE button: Kathy Lee Gifford

Don't like the Va Va Vavoom

[silverado427 10,675]