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Maksim

Daily humor thread

By Maksim, in General Discussion

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67gtonut    847

67gtonut
Posted

It has already started at Cabela's Sporting Goods Store. There was a bit of confusion at their store this weekend. When I was ready to pay for my purchase of some bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about these gun control whackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. 

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

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Howard    538

Howard
Posted

In a gunfight, the most important rule is ..... HAVE A GUN!!!

Shooting advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors.

If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules...

If not, you should get one and learn how to use it and learn the rules:

RULES:

A: Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

B: It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

C: Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

D: Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length

E: Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

F: The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes;

the response time of a .357 magnum is 1400 feet per second.

G: The most important rule in a gunfight is:

Always win - there is no such thing as a fair fight; cheat if necessary.

H: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ...

You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, ‘cause it will be empty.

I: If you're in a gun fight:

If you're not shooting, you should be loading.

If you're not loading, you should be moving.

If you're not moving, you're dead.

J: In a life and death situation, do something ... it may be wrong, but do something!

K: If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense!

If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

L: You can say 'stop' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle

pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language.

M: Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill.

In court, yours will be the only testimony.

N: You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself

and your family.

If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, forward to others you know who also believe.

"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading" -- Thomas Jefferson

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jm1827    284

jm1827
Posted

In a gunfight, the most important rule is ..... HAVE A GUN!!!

Shooting advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors.

If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules...

If not, you should get one and learn how to use it and learn the rules:

RULES:

A: Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

B: It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

C: Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

D: Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length

E: Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

F: The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes;

the response time of a .357 magnum is 1400 feet per second.

G: The most important rule in a gunfight is:

Always win - there is no such thing as a fair fight; cheat if necessary.

H: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ...

You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, ‘cause it will be empty.

I: If you're in a gun fight:

If you're not shooting, you should be loading.

If you're not loading, you should be moving.

If you're not moving, you're dead.

J: In a life and death situation, do something ... it may be wrong, but do something!

K: If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense!

If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

L: You can say 'stop' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle

pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language.

M: Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill.

In court, yours will be the only testimony.

N: You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself

and your family.

If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, forward to others you know who also believe.

"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading" -- Thomas Jefferson

I never saw this before, love it!

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