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Maksim

Daily humor thread

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It has already started at Cabela's Sporting Goods Store. There was a bit of confusion at their store this weekend. When I was ready to pay for my purchase of some bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about these gun control whackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. 

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

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In a gunfight, the most important rule is ..... HAVE A GUN!!!

Shooting advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors.

If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules...

If not, you should get one and learn how to use it and learn the rules:

RULES:

A: Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

B: It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

C: Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

D: Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length

E: Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

F: The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes;

the response time of a .357 magnum is 1400 feet per second.

G: The most important rule in a gunfight is:

Always win - there is no such thing as a fair fight; cheat if necessary.

H: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ...

You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, ‘cause it will be empty.

I: If you're in a gun fight:

If you're not shooting, you should be loading.

If you're not loading, you should be moving.

If you're not moving, you're dead.

J: In a life and death situation, do something ... it may be wrong, but do something!

K: If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense!

If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

L: You can say 'stop' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle

pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language.

M: Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill.

In court, yours will be the only testimony.

N: You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself

and your family.

If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, forward to others you know who also believe.

"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading" -- Thomas Jefferson

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In a gunfight, the most important rule is ..... HAVE A GUN!!!

Shooting advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors.

If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules...

If not, you should get one and learn how to use it and learn the rules:

RULES:

A: Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

B: It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

C: Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

D: Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length

E: Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

F: The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes;

the response time of a .357 magnum is 1400 feet per second.

G: The most important rule in a gunfight is:

Always win - there is no such thing as a fair fight; cheat if necessary.

H: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ...

You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, ‘cause it will be empty.

I: If you're in a gun fight:

If you're not shooting, you should be loading.

If you're not loading, you should be moving.

If you're not moving, you're dead.

J: In a life and death situation, do something ... it may be wrong, but do something!

K: If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense!

If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

L: You can say 'stop' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle

pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language.

M: Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill.

In court, yours will be the only testimony.

N: You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself

and your family.

If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, forward to others you know who also believe.

"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading" -- Thomas Jefferson

I never saw this before, love it!

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    • This mindset baffles me. Shooting is a depreciating skill. If you don't practice, you will become worse at it. If you value your life enough to want to defend it, why would you rely on a skill that you don't practice? If the best I can do on a good day is scrape a pass on CCARE, I would be determined to get better at shooting - and yes I did see that you scored 98% - but your attitude appears to be that you shouldn't have to practice first. Trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps you mean that the government should not mandate that you have to meet any kind of standard before you can carry. I agree. There should not be any mandated quals. However, only a fool would be carrying a gun he can't use effectively. It does little to protect himself and creates a danger to everyone else because the misses will go on to hit something or someone after they miss the intended target.
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