Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
A very interesting document. Section 4 is very interesting, where it instructs the Superintendent of Police to collect all the data on applications submitted, including processing times, then says:
"The Superintendent of State Police shall compile this information as a statistical summary and cause it to be published annually on the Division of State Police website."
I don't suppose anyone has seen this website where the Superintendent of State Police has posted this information??
I don’t complain... but considering there is only a chance of snow thru sunrise, and the rest of the weekend looks like rain, I’m definitely ecstatic!
Rain is just so much easier to deal with over snow.