Jump to content
Maksim

Daily humor thread

Recommended Posts

Picture of V-Tail
blank.gif posted January 22, 2020 10:52 PM
Morris' wife Rachel came home early and found Morris in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Rachel was upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a Get (Jewish divorce) right away!"

Morris replied, "Hang on just a minute Rachel so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed,"but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And Morris began -- "Vell, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she vas very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

"She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the potato latkes I made for you last night, the food you vouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on veight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

"Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer outfit that I gave you a few years ago, but won't wear, because you say it’s too tight. I also gave her the sexy underwear that vas your anniversary present, which you don't wear because you said I have lousy taste.

"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Chanukah that you don't wear, just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has the same pair."

Morris took a quick breath and continued - "She vas so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, mister, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
 
 
(stolen)
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cute, but it's set up for a direct short across the prongs.  I still wouldn't want to be wearing it, but we need a better engineered solution.

  • Informative 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



  • Supporting Vendors

  • Latest Topics

  • Similar Content

    • By njJoniGuy
      Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
       
      Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
       
      Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
    • By DBCooper
      These guys know how to party...
       
      http://www.liveleak....=3c6_1347955567
    • By Maksim
      Why not an offshoot...
       
      Been meaning to start thread a few days ago, after dry firing, I was trying to copy a link from youtube to chat....
       
       
      You know you play too many gun games (uspsa/idpa) when you...
      ...double tap the Control + C twice before pasting the link.
    • By njJoniGuy
      Cross posted from the nationalmatch site
      Enjoy!
       
    • By njJoniGuy
      http://www.strategyp...01123142956.asp
       
      with link to their overall humor section
      such as:
       
      and
       
       
      Enjoy!
  • Posts

    • Item sold to member. Thanks for looking
    • newman was in the lead when this happened
    • i fully believe it was unintentional....but it looked to me like he was going for a pass......newman blocked him, he looked to try to go high, couldn't, then contact, then crash   i think that it's gonna be reviewed and something is gonna be done to the 12 though
    • Did you actually read the entire article? Apparently not. Here are a few other points in the article: ....." Historically, in the United States and around the world, household debt has been at its highest when the unemployment rate has been at its lowest. But that doesn’t mean the credit card debt itself is good news. It’s time for a history, economics, and psychology lesson. The high levels of consumer debt show that there may be trouble ahead. This doesn’t mean that credit card debt isn’t a serious problem for American families: it absolutely is! In 2006 and 2007, like now, the unemployment rate was low and fairly steady, hovering at or below 5%. But consumers weren’t using their paychecks to pay off their debt — and the strength of the economy meant that lenders felt comfortable taking greater risks, That helps to explain why high levels of debt occur at the same time as low unemployment. But these researchers also found that the high levels of debt eventually forced economies to contract, because payments became too hard for borrowers to manage. the higher levels of lending and borrowing make both banks and families feel wealthier than they truly are. “With credit plentiful, borrowers typically spend more than is sustainable, giving them the appearance of being prosperous. In turn, lenders who are enjoying the good times are more complacent than they should be. But debts can’t continue to rise faster than the money and income that is necessary to service them forever,” writes Dalio. When the amount of debt in the economy starts to exceed what families can realistically repay, everybody suffers. Put simply: the high level of debt in the economy doesn’t mean we’ve hit “rock bottom.” It actually means we’re reaching the peak: the high level of debt means that things can only go downhill from here. That’s occasionally true, but when you look across the economy as a whole, we usually see the exact opposite phenomenon: families get into high-interest credit card debt as the economy grows, and then have to struggle to pay it back at the exact same time that the job market is tightening. " So, @JackDaWack, please share with us this economic theory again that "Factually speaking, debt is used as a vector for economic growth for both the public and private sectors..." You also might want to read the COMPLETE article that you post....., for facts.... 
    • There's been no updates to his condition, after all this time. It's not looking good....  My guess, he has severe head injuries or a major spinal cord injury. If you look at the picture below, the whole top of the driver compartment was crushed. There isn't a lot of headroom in there, and Newman isn't a small guy. Blocking is the SOP on these types of racing. They don't have a choice if they want to win. All the drivers need to step up and force NASCAR to change the rules, this door to door racing tears up way too much equipment and injuries too may drivers.  
×
×
  • Create New...