Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
Grabbing women by the pu**y couldn't do it, multiple bimbos couldn't do it, the Russians couldn't do it, Mueller couldn't do it, Dem impeachment couldn't do it, maybe a ginned up pandemic just might....
Looks like the algos and machines aren't buying what Trump was selling earlier... futures down -360 right now...
....." U.S. stock futures fell Wednesday night, after a news conference by President Donald Trump failed to reassure investors and as a new case of coronavirus with no known origin was discovered in California.
“President Trump’s press conference was certainly intended to be a confidence builder but I don’t believe it will have much impact on stocks,” Kristina Hooper, chief global market strategist at Invesco, told Bloomberg News. “The drop in futures illustrates that words from politicians are meaningless. I believe it will take assurances from the Fed to send futures in the opposite direction.”