Daily humor thread

[Downtownv 1,305]

 

[PeteF 1,044]

[Zeke 5,501]

4 minutes ago, PeteF said:

That’s not funny, that’s troof

[Pizza Bob 1,469]

[Downtownv 1,305]

[CMJeepster 1,852]

[silverado427 7,056]

[Bklynracer 975]

13 hours ago, Downtownv said:

 

It doesn't work that way in our government.

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

[Downtownv 1,305]

[silverado427 7,056]

[45Doll 3,914]

[CMJeepster 1,852]

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

9 minutes ago, CMJeepster said:

Damn it! 

[Zeke 5,501]

10 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Damn it! 

Ha ha! You just got owned 

[njpilot 670]

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

While this isn’t a ‘joke’, it’s a humorous story on me. One that I’d better tell before Mrs Tex tells y’all at one of the shotgun shoots/bbqs and puts her spin on it. Lol
 

We are in St. Thomas, USVI....

We’ve spent the day, drinking by the pool, soaking up the sun, as you do on vacation in the tropics. 
Mrs Tex and I have been trading quips at one another all day, as we usually do. Laughing and enjoying spending time with one another. 
We go back to the room..and my sunburned, half drunken ass is changing out of my bathing suit and into street clothes to go out. We are laughing and carrying on, and as I’m standing on one foot, putting my shoes on one at a time. She tells me to be careful, cause I’m gonna fall.....I make a quip about being ‘poised as a ninja....with quick, cat like reflexes’. As I’m putting on my second shoe, I fell directly on my ass. 
 

Without missing a beat, Mrs Tex looks down at me on the floor,  and says, in a quite sarcastic tone, ‘yep....you’re a fucking ninja...’
 

Ugh...
 

[silverado427 7,056]

[WP22 1,558]

///

 

 

[Downtownv 1,305]

[silverado427 7,056]

[brucin 710]

18 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

While this isn’t a ‘joke’, it’s a humorous story on me. One that I’d better tell before Mrs Tex tells y’all at one of the shotgun shoots/bbqs and puts her spin on it. Lol
 

We are in St. Thomas, USVI....

We’ve spent the day, drinking by the pool, soaking up the sun, as you do on vacation in the tropics. 
Mrs Tex and I have been trading quips at one another all day, as we usually do. Laughing and enjoying spending time with one another. 
We go back to the room..and my sunburned, half drunken ass is changing out of my bathing suit and into street clothes to go out. We are laughing and carrying on, and as I’m standing on one foot, putting my shoes on one at a time. She tells me to be careful, cause I’m gonna fall.....I make a quip about being ‘poised as a ninja....with quick, cat like reflexes’. As I’m putting on my second shoe, I fell directly on my ass. 
 

Without missing a beat, Mrs Tex looks down at me on the floor,  and says, in a quite sarcastic tone, ‘yep....you’re a fucking ninja...’
 

Ugh...
 

Sounds like my wife and your's would get along great.

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

Cat. The other white meat. 

[Downtownv 1,305]

I TELL PEOPLE, THOSE PEOPLE IN TEXAS AREN'T RIGHT AND YOU JUST PROVED ME CORRECT!

 

[45Doll 3,914]

Where's that Puke emoticon?

[Zeke 5,501]

2 hours ago, silverado427 said:

Pi day is also stknbj day.. jus sayen 

[Downtownv 1,305]

1 minute ago, 45Doll said:

Where's that Puke emoticon?

 

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

17 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

I TELL PEOPLE, THOSE PEOPLE IN TEXAS AREN'T RIGHT AND YOU JUST PROVED ME CORRECT!

 

Hey, if I slapped a little bbq sauce on that, all you bastards would be elbows deep eatin it, and you know it! 

[Downtownv 1,305]

My go to BBQ sauce is Gates outta KC, I gotta buddy that ships it to a case at a time. you can put that on a sh!t sandwich and make it taste good!

 

[Displaced Texan 8,625]

Should I have thrown it in the crock pot instead?? What would Betty Crockpot say?