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Maksim

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The Book Report


     Students  at a local school were assigned to read two books,  'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill  Clinton.

    One  student turned in the following book report, with the  proposition that they were nearly identical stories!   

    His cool professor gave him an A+ for this  report.   


    Titanic:       cost -  $29.99 

    Clinton:       cost -  $29.99  


    Titanic:       Over 3  hours to read 

    Clinton:       Over 3  hours to read  


    Titanic:       The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent  catastrophe. 

    Clinton:       The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden  love, and subsequent catastrophe.  


    Titanic:       Jack is a starving artist. 

    Clinton:       Bill is a bullshit artist.  


    Titanic:       In one scene,  Jack enjoys a good cigar. 

    Clinton:       Ditto  for Bill. 


    Titanic:       During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. 

    Clinton:       Ditto for  Monica.  


    Titanic:       Jack teaches Rose to spit.

    Clinton:       Let's  not go there. 


    Titanic:       Rose gets to keep her jewelry 

    Clinton:       Monica is forced to return her gifts. 


    Titanic:       Rose  remembers Jack for the rest of her life. 

    Clinton:       Clinton remembers  Monica for the rest of his life. 


    Titanic:       Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. 

    Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. 


    Titanic:       Jack surrenders to an icy death. 

    Clinton:       Bill goes  home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

 

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Subject: When your friends vote Democrat, but they cannot explain why

 

You can offer them a list to pick their reasons. These are the "TOP 12" most often mentioned.

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% is not.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money, I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I am way too irresponsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who cannot tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I do not start driving a Tesla.

6. I voted Democrat because I am not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it is better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it is unlikely that I will ever have another point of view.

 

 

Please pass this on to your Democrat, Socialist, Communist, Liberal friends!

 

Oh, and by the way, they forgot to mention the superior handling of the Afghan withdrawal and the 85 billion in weapons and cash we left in the hands of the Taliban, the corruption with Joe and Hunter Biden laundering money, and the drug use by Hunter as documented on his computer, and the strict immigration policy at the southern border, and our financing of the Mexican drug cartels, and the deporting (not) of illegals, and teaching CRT, and the advances in the woke culture, and the thousands of people dying from Fentenal, and the price of fuel, food, and utilities, and the trillions of dollars in spending, and inflation near 9%, and a president who carries a card around with answers to questions from the press, and the crashing of the stock market, and a war in Ukraine, and the human trafficking, and the releasing of Covid infection people into the heart of the U.S., and the girls being kidnapped at the border to be sold into prostitution, and…. Well, you can fill in the others. 

 

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25 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

The Maury Show.  LMFAO...

 

 

Just look at all the shattered lives and broken spirits, for which there is no Prosthetic for... horribly sad.

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