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Maksim

Daily humor thread

By Maksim, in General Discussion

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SmittyMHS    603

SmittyMHS
Posted
 
President-elect Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht, the Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the
Pontiff's hat off, right into the water.

It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.

The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying "Never mind, boys,
I'll get it."

The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed
into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.

The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless.

No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.

But that afternoon, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN reported:

"TRUMP CAN'T SWIM!"
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silverado427    10,720

silverado427
Posted

A new frontier has opened in long arm retention/stowage:

 

(link goes to instagram short video - mildy NSFW (extreme male toplessness...so topless it's almost bottomless...) make sure to press play on the image to start the video):

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPljpnBhCje/

 

What the fuk over.

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Purple Patrick    638

Purple Patrick
Posted

A new frontier has opened in long arm retention/stowage:

 

(link goes to instagram short video - mildy NSFW (extreme male toplessness...so topless it's almost bottomless...) make sure to press play on the image to start the video):

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPljpnBhCje/

Ozzyman has a video of this. If you don't know who he is check him out. His stripper video is hilarious

 

this signature exceeds the 15 character capacity count

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Howard    538

Howard
Posted

…..For sale is my Black Lab.  He is ARound 15 years old and weights 223 lbs (556 kg).  I’m not sure why he’s so fat since I’ve only fed him 900-1000 times in his life.  He also comes with 6 heavy duty retractable leashes that each stop at exactly 30 feet.  When he was younger he got his eye poked out so now he has glass eye made by Nikon that allows him to see to about 300 yards and it shoots a frickin laser!   He also got his front leg chopped off so now he has a hard plastic leg.  If you ever need to pick him up (like for a bath or something) you just reach out and grab that plastic leg and you have a great grip.  Also, sometimes he has a hard time standing on that plastic leg so you just push a button on the plastic leg and it splits in half to become a “bipod” type thing.  It also swivels, helps with balance.  Dog also comes with a long black bag to carry him in that has lots of pockets for his 30 foot leashes and can even carry another small dog….. Asking $900 for the black lab, cash only, no trades for other dogs……………….Dog’s name is Bushmaster (cause he’s good at finding stuff in the bushes).

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