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JrzyGuy30

Running Background check for Nanny

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Okay- so I'm assuming some of the members on here are either parents or might be in law enforcement.. and my predicament is this. My wife found a nanny for our daughter (first child- 4 months old) because she is going back to work in 2 weeks. I want to run a background check.

 

There seems to be a lot of these beenverified.com/ intelius.com / us search.com and all these sites, but they don't seem to be thorough. I have her DL and passport and want to know if someone can point me in the direction to get a thorough check to make sure there isn't anything fishy since this lady will be in my house with both of us gone and our new daughter... advice please?

 

Thanks!!

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This is a good time for the LEO'S on the board to chime in..

 

I will take PM's if they don't want to publicize themselves..

Having a strange lady in our house while we're gone with my child (plus my other children locked up) just doesn't sit right and I need something to prove to me that this new person we just met is not some night time prostitute or has been dealing drugs or has a suspended license etc etc.. you know? Wife is all on edge to so this will help.

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I guess the first question is this... if you and your wife are on edge about a stranger coming into your home, why are you doing it that way?  There are endlees qualified, safe and well established daycare providers that provide the care from their location...  and I'm pretty sure there are some very close to your home or workplace, so please explain why thats not an option in this situatiuon.  Just trying to help and understand because I see so many potential problems with this scenario and obviously, guns in the home.

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I’m not an LEO and this is OT but you may want to invest in some Nanny cams that could be used discreetly...

 

We are actually getting Comcast Home Security setup and that includes some interior cameras.. so def great idea.. but I'd like to prevent anything from happening if I can, rather than watching something unfold from my office in NYC, you know? :)

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I guess the first question is this... if you and your wife are on edge about a stranger coming into your home, why are you doing it that way?  There are endlees qualified, safe and well established daycare providers that provide the care from their location...  and I'm pretty sure there are some very close to your home or workplace, so please explain why thats not an option in this situatiuon.  Just trying to help and understand because I see so many potential problems with this scenario and obviously, guns in the home.

 

Wife is slightly OCD (I think more than slightly) and the daycare facilities we visited in our area were either too dirty or had people walk through the rooms on the carpet that an infant crawls around on and sticks in their mouth. I personally would like 1 on 1 attention for our daughter also, so a nanny is the best for this, but I'm a better to be safe than sorry person and as I and my wife maintain a clean record and try to be upstanding citizens, I expect the same for someone who will be caring for my daughter.

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Where did you locate this nanny? Hopefully not CL. There are some very professional services that provide vetted nanny's. My friends had one for their special needs child a few years ago when she was born. I will try to find out who they were.

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Where did you locate this nanny? Hopefully not CL. There are some very professional services that provide vetted nanny's. My friends had one for their special needs child a few years ago when she was born. I will try to find out who they were.

 

Appreciate that. We used care.com ... but are reluctant to trust there background check service after reading some reviews about how they miss felony records/driving records etc

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OK, so in addition to cameras/monitoring and background checks, I would suggest "several" personal references as well.  And if they know up front that they will be monitored on a consistant basis throughout the day and are they OK with that, well, you stand a chance of finding and "keeping" someone who will truely be honest and on the level.  I know we all have to do what we have to do and you have your own reasons for wanting/needing to do it this way, but I'd choose a dirty floor over the "unknown" person in my home with my child every time.  I'm not judging you in any way, this is a TOUGH one and I'm wrangling in my seat just thinking about if I was in this situation because I trust NOBODY!  Sadly enough, not even my childs Grandparents!

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OK, so in addition to cameras/monitoring and background checks, I would suggest "several" personal references as well.  And if they know up front that they will be monitored on a consistant basis throughout the day and are they OK with that, well, you stand a chance of finding and "keeping" someone who will truely be honest and on the level.  I know we all have to do what we have to do and you have your own reasons for wanting/needing to do it this way, but I'd choose a dirty floor over the "unknown" person in my home with my child every time.  I'm not judging you in any way, this is a TOUGH one and I'm wrangling in my seat just thinking about if I was in this situation because I trust NOBODY!  Sadly enough, not even my childs Grandparents!

 

 

I agree... I feel like the dirty floor comes with the checks created by a small group...a few day care employees are less likely to ALL be scumbags.. so you run a good chance of one person doing the "right thing"

 

you can have all the cameras in the world.... the person my have the cleanest record there is... but you can't cover every single hallway and corner of your house... further this individual may work for you for months.. years... all the while telling her cracked out felon boyfriend about how well off you are.. with your fancy cameras... big safe filled with god only knows what... fancy TVs.. telling him her schedule.. basically letting him know when you are and are not home... no thanks... I dont like ANYONE in my house.. let alone some random stranger.. for hours at a time.. 

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I agree... I feel like the dirty floor comes with the checks created by a small group...a few day care employees are less likely to ALL be scumbags.. so you run a good chance of one person doing the "right thing"

 

you can have all the cameras in the world.... the person my have the cleanest record there is... but you can't cover every single hallway and corner of your house... further this individual may work for you for months.. years... all the while telling her cracked out felon boyfriend about how well off you are.. with your fancy cameras... big safe filled with god only knows what... fancy TVs.. telling him her schedule.. basically letting him know when you are and are not home... no thanks... I dont like ANYONE in my house.. let alone some random stranger.. for hours at a time.. 

 

I'd have to agree. It doesnt matter how much of a clean record someone has. People can go downhill fast and it only takes one bad day for her to set you up or even worse, god forbid, harm your child. Personally, i would check around for better daycare facilities first.

It's simple. Have her apply for an FID and, voila, 9 months later, you'll have your background check!

Pure genius right here^

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OK, so in addition to cameras/monitoring and background checks, I would suggest "several" personal references as well.  And if they know up front that they will be monitored on a consistant basis throughout the day and are they OK with that, well, you stand a chance of finding and "keeping" someone who will truely be honest and on the level.  I know we all have to do what we have to do and you have your own reasons for wanting/needing to do it this way, but I'd choose a dirty floor over the "unknown" person in my home with my child every time.  I'm not judging you in any way, this is a TOUGH one and I'm wrangling in my seat just thinking about if I was in this situation because I trust NOBODY!  Sadly enough, not even my childs Grandparents!

 

 

I agree... I feel like the dirty floor comes with the checks created by a small group...a few day care employees are less likely to ALL be scumbags.. so you run a good chance of one person doing the "right thing"

 

you can have all the cameras in the world.... the person my have the cleanest record there is... but you can't cover every single hallway and corner of your house... further this individual may work for you for months.. years... all the while telling her cracked out felon boyfriend about how well off you are.. with your fancy cameras... big safe filled with god only knows what... fancy TVs.. telling him her schedule.. basically letting him know when you are and are not home... no thanks... I dont like ANYONE in my house.. let alone some random stranger.. for hours at a time.. 

 

I totally hear this.. but wife won't budge on the germs thing and I believe we should be able to find some nanny to take care of our daughter well and give her more attention than she would get in daycare... 

 

Also, my safe, my 'expensive' attractive stuff will stay locked away between the office and bedroom which will be under lock and key and have camera's pointing away over them... at the end of the day, if I stayed scared of every horrible possibility, I'd go and move to Montana and be a hermit, but I can't and I need to look past fears and try to live life :) .. with as much precaution as possible (like a thorough background check process!)

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I totally hear this.. but wife won't budge on the germs thing and I believe we should be able to find some nanny to take care of our daughter well and give her more attention than she would get in daycare... 

 

Also, my safe, my 'expensive' attractive stuff will stay locked away between the office and bedroom which will be under lock and key and have camera's pointing away over them... at the end of the day, if I stayed scared of every horrible possibility, I'd go and move to Montana and be a hermit, but I can't and I need to look past fears and try to live life :) .. with as much precaution as possible (like a thorough background check process!)

Does your wife understand raising your kid in a bubble isnt any better? Exposure to these "germs" will just help to build their immune system, plus interaction with other children will be wayyyy better for them then playing on the floor at your house while your nanny watches soap operas. 

 

My daughter who is 2 now has helped my son who is 11 months old in so many ways. he learned to walk at 9 1/2 months by watching and trying to keep up with her. She didnt walk till 1 year exactly. His interactions and the way he communicates is way above the norm by having his sister to watch and learn from. 

 

Just my opinion and i think its something you should really think about.....

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my point is this.. I am not friends with local people around my area on Facebook not because I dont trust them.. but because I dont trust their friends.. and these are people I KNOW... she could be the cleanest person there is and be friends with a bunch of scumbags.. 

 

at least out of the home you run the chance of more people collectively doing the right thing.. I see it as a series of risks.. 

kids play in dirt... your kid is not going to die crawling on a dirty floor.. and as others pointed out already there are surely better facilities...

a group at an established business is more likely to make the right choice than one single individual.. 

you pout your actual home at risk since the person you bring in knows where you live.. that you can afford a nanny.. your work schedule... what kind of car you drive.. and so on.. not only do they know that info.. but people they know now also know that info...

 

the benefits of at home simply do not outweigh the risk to me at least.. 

your kid.. your life.. but that is why I said what I said.. I get that risks are necessary.. but I try to minimize them when I can.. 

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Honestly, I didn't come on here to debate this issue. Wife and I made our mind already. Just looking for help from fellow members on background checks and maybe reputable places for nannies. 

Thanks for all your opinions though :)

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my point is this.. I am not friends with local people around my area on Facebook not because I dont trust them.. but because I dont trust their friends.. and these are people I KNOW... she could be the cleanest person there is and be friends with a bunch of scumbags.. 

 

at least out of the home you run the chance of more people collectively doing the right thing.. I see it as a series of risks.. 

kids play in dirt... your kid is not going to die crawling on a dirty floor.. and as others pointed out already there are surely better facilities...

a group at an established business is more likely to make the right choice than one single individual.. 

you pout your actual home at risk since the person you bring in knows where you live.. that you can afford a nanny.. your work schedule... what kind of car you drive.. and so on.. not only do they know that info.. but people they know now also know that info...

 

the benefits of at home simply do not outweigh the risk to me at least.. 

your kid.. your life.. but that is why I said what I said.. I get that risks are necessary.. but I try to minimize them when I can.. 

 

Griz,

 

Due to the lessons learned from my walk through life, I must agree with Vlad.  The risk verses reward potential and the ROI you expect to receive (live your life verses static isolation) cannot be reasonably achieved.  Remember, no one can predict the actions of another now or in the future anymore than one can change someone for the better. 

 

There is absolutely no way I would allow a care taker of any kind to live in my home with my family.  There are simply too many risks that exist now and will develop in the future.  IMHO, you may be better served by working on a different solution in concert with your wife.  If she is a stakeholder in the process, there will be a good degree of "buy in" on her part and that will help you implement the plan with far less push back.

 

Good luck!  

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Honestly, I didn't come on here to debate this issue. Wife and I made our mind already. Just looking for help from fellow members on background checks and maybe reputable places for nannies. 

Thanks for all your opinions though :)

 

I wish I could help you with this, but I honestly believe that, even if there is a reliable vetting service for nannies (and a quick Googling comes up with quite a few), I wouldn't think any would be 100% foolproof. You might be able to get criminal histories and/or credit records, etc., but none of that may help with determining how well the person will do with your children.

 

I just read a story a week ago about a couple with an infant that hired a baby sitter and, apparently, had used her for some time. Over time, though, when the baby sitter would arrive, the couple's dog would start to react very violently against the baby sitter (barking, snarling, positioning himself in between the baby sitter and the infant, as if to defend it.). Of course, this raised the couple's suspicions, so they went and hid an iPod. Sure  enough, they caught the baby sitter physically abusing the infant.

 

God bless that dog!

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This world is no more dangerous than it was 20 years ago. Interview people, go with your gut instinct, and hire someone. People have become afraid of their shadows anymore. Ocd is a mental illness. I suggest you should deal with your wife and her issues with that. Don't keep placating her.

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We've just gone through the very same thing.  My daughter is 15 months old and we're pulling her from daycare and going the nanny route instead.  We started with care.com as well to find potential nannies.  We've interviewed two and got lucky, basically finding THE one.  Make sure you're asking for references and following up on them.  They're especially useful when it's the current or a prior family that the nanny worked for.  I haven't decided on a background check service yet though I was thinking about giving the nanny a firearm and running a 4473 on her...  :rofl:

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We've just gone through the very same thing.  My daughter is 15 months old and we're pulling her from daycare and going the nanny route instead.  We started with care.com as well to find potential nannies.  We've interviewed two and got lucky, basically finding THE one.  Make sure you're asking for references and following up on them.  They're especially useful when it's the current or a prior family that the nanny worked for.  I haven't decided on a background check service yet though I was thinking about giving the nanny a firearm and running a 4473 on her...   :rofl:

Nice. Good for you! Yeah - I guess we haven't found 'the one' yet.

 

This world is no more dangerous than it was 20 years ago. Interview people, go with your gut instinct, and hire someone. People have become afraid of their shadows anymore. Ocd is a mental illness. I suggest you should deal with your wife and her issues with that. Don't keep placating her.

Deal with my wife? Its more like her and I made a decision for a nanny with each of our own reasons to steer away from daycare. Not 'placating' her.

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im pretty sure the OP was simply asking is anyone knew a way to run a more thorough background check on someone.  LEO's, if possible, could help out a fellow gun enthusiast by possibly offering their services to run a check for him if necessary.  (i know, its a big ask, and improper use of police equipment/services), but maybe I am reading something different into the OP than what was said...

 

i will certainly not debate the OP on this, as I do not have children so I dont have to make that kind of decision.  Daycares have their place.  Nannies have their place.  I think this thread has started to go off-topic a bit. 

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