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It's a girl!

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And as the father of a 2 month old


Good luck!

Ita a tottal bollocks at its worst

But it melts your heart in ways you never thought possible at its best


Dont let the parents and inlaws run the show. Its your house and tour child. Put your foot down and do it your way. Your gonna muck up, then fix it, but do it your way and you and your wife will be happier in the long run. Not everyones good intentions are your own.


Rum helps too


Edit for language

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in 15 years you get to greet her perspective suitors at the door, dressed in nothing but tighty whities, holding an open beer in one hand and a shotgun in the other. :D



My buddy and I agreed we'd do that if we ever had a daughter. I have 2 boys and he is still single. Oh well...


Sorry to hear about the extra few days. Hang in there and best of luck



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Born in #25 and now we're in #19 but Annabelle has to be in the NICU for a few days, maconium in her lung, sucks but she will be ok. Thanks again everyone!

Don't worry about the NICU - I know it sucks.  Zoey had to be in the NICU for several days as well as her bilirubin level (jaundice) was high.


NICU Care is generally amazing.  They'll take good care of you and your lil one.

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Congrats! Sleep any time you get the chance. Feeding times come around quick.


Resist jumping up every time she cries. She'll grow up a more confident kid if you figure out how to handle all of that.


Awesome time! Enjoy!

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in 15 years you get to greet her perspective suitors at the door, dressed in nothing but tighty whities, holding an open beer in one hand and a shotgun in the other. :D

For all those that may need it, now or in the future.



Daddy's Rules for Dating


Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.


Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do no, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.


Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."


Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.


Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?


Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


But, before you even think of dating my daughter, you'll have to fill out the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter, below.





Application for Permission to Date My Daughter





NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless

accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,

and current medical report from your doctor.


NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________


HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________


SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________


BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________


HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______


Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain:



Number of years they have been married ______________________________


If less than your age, explain










A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No


B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No


C. A waterbed? __Yes __No


D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No


E. A tattoo? __Yes __No


F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No

pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?







In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?






In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?






In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?











Church you attend ___________________________________________________


How often you attend ________________________________________________


When would be the best time to interview your:


father? _____________


mother? _____________


pastor? _____________







Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers

are confidential.


A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:




B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:




C: A woman's place is in the:




D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:




E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________






F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:




F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________






Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)



_______________________________ ________________________________

Mother's Signature Father's Signature


_______________________________ ________________________________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and

non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.


You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do

not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would

cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be

notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

(you might watch your back)


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Thanks guys! Mom and baby are doing allot better! I got to hold Annabelle for the first time last night. Hopefully she will continue to improve and be discharged In another day or two


Really?  They didn't even let you hold her right away?  That's a shame...  I got to hold my lil one before mommy as she was out from general anesthesia (emergency C-section)

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Yeah my wife got to hold her for a minute (literally) and then they had to take her to the NICU. That sucked, it was for the best though so I can't complain to much.

Has she presented her pinky yet?   You know the one you are now, and for the rest of your life wrapped around?  Best of luck.

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So what was the first gun you bought her :)

well she will inherent the marlin 39a that my dad and I learned to shoot with but I already had that. As for new purchase I'm not sure yet. I'm leaning towards a Henry, that way daddy can get a matching 45-70 Lol

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