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mossburger

Satire: WTS My AR Build

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RIP FTF Sales in NJ :(

Up for sale is my just like new AR build in a strange chambering that's just gonna fire the same Lake City ammo that all over the other ARs out there do.
 
It's got only 386 rounds through it. Yes, that number seems oddly specific but I swear it's factual. I totally promise, I keep exact round counts on all my guns because that's what normal people do, right?
 
I bought this thing back during the panic of Obama's first term, and made my decision mostly on panic buying and the various recommendations of mall-ninjas on the internet.
 
OK, so now for the price. I know you can order rifle kits to put together 4-5 rifles these days and arm your entire family, for the price I'm asking for just this one, so let me explain. See although I loudly tout my love of free market capitalism in the Politics section, I believe that the basic laws of supply and demand don't apply to me, so I'm hoping you don't do any research and pay what I paid ten years ago for this thing.
 
Now, let me painstakingly list in detail every single accessory that I slapped on this thing while it sat in the safe over the last ten years:
 
  • Lastname Tactical Gunworks Customs trigger kit, it has a 2.63855 pound pull and although I haven't got a lot of time on it, people on the internet assure me it is a superior choice.
  • Southern State Armory SOPMOD CQC SEAL Team 6 CQB MOLLE KEYMOD PICATINNY handguard, this puppy looks super sweet, it weighs only ten pounds but you can hang another ten pounds of lights and lasers off of it.
  • Heinz Frankfurter Schnitzel specialty 24-48x140mm red dot Holo sight scope. Although I've only taken this thing to the 25yard line at my local indoor range, I figured the $1400 for this scope was a better investment than several hours learning the fundamentals of rifle shooting.
  • Custom Baked on Arma-Kote paint job in a super obnoxious color scheme and featuring my favorite comic book character's logo. I don't really care if it's your style or not, I paid big money for this and expect you to as well.
  • A whole host of custom grips, stocks, lights and lasers which the instructor at the class I took assured me are what the LAPD SWAT team uses, and he even heard from a friend of a friend, who knew a guy that was "over there" in the Middle East (but can't really talk about it much, duh) and during his time with his secret unit they used this very same foregrip as well.
  • I've also got a bunch of extra grips, magazines and stocks which I will throw in or sell separately, for the low low price of $5 less than they would cost brand new from that website that has free shipping. You'll have to spend your day driving halfway across the state to pickup, but that's totally reasonable for the price I'm asking.
 
Here's a couple pictures I took with my flip phone, in the dark, during an earthquake. The gun is blurry in all of them but somehow my big toe is always in good focus.
 
OK so now that we've got that out of the way, I'm asking the super low price of only $3,750, cash only, FTF must have COE, FID, DL and a time machine.
 
Edit: Price drop, $3,735
 
EDIT: price drop, $3,720 come on guys this is a steal!
 
EDIT: Ok, FINAL PRICE DROP $3,7000 FIRM.
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OP sent me this picture of the rifle for sale after 3 weeks of not replying to my requests.

forsale.jpg

 

He also mentioned he has a car for sale on facebook, took a screenshot of that for anyone interested.  Strangely enough, it has 386,xxx miles on it, despite the ad being from November 2017...

facebookcarads.jpg

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19 minutes ago, Malice4you said:

OP sent me this picture of the rifle for sale after 3 weeks of not replying to my requests.

forsale.jpg

 

He also mentioned he has a car for sale on facebook, took a screenshot of that for anyone interested.  Strangely enough, it has 386,xxx miles on it, despite the ad being from November 2017...

facebookcarads.jpg

Oh my God...don't even get me started on Facebook marketplace. I try and buy gym equipment there from time to time....

Selling: My sweaty, smelly, used bench and rusted barbell set, missing one of the 25lb plates.

Asking price: $10 less than brand new...

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2 hours ago, mossburger said:

Oh my God...don't even get me started on Facebook marketplace. I try and buy gym equipment there from time to time....

Selling: My sweaty, smelly, used bench and rusted barbell set, missing one of the 25lb plates.

Asking price: $10 less than brand new...

I was on ebay looking for 10 round mags ( :angry: ) and found people asking 50% more for used ones than brand new in box ones...or $10 less than a new one, but with $14 shipping...

The picture I used in the fake facebook ad was taken from 3 miles away.  It is somehow still clearer than some real photos I have seen in for sale posts taken by someone who has full access to the damned car.  I'm pretty sure that at least 20% of sellers seem to take all their pictures on a flip phone with a smudged lens, at night under a new moon, while having a seizure, during an earthquake, while holding the camera either too close to focus or so far away the item doesn't have more than 100 pixels covering it.  I always assume they have a lot to hide in that case...much like "driven by a little old lady to church on Sundays" is exactly the same as "only fired 50 rounds through it"

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8 hours ago, Malice4you said:

I was on ebay looking for 10 round mags ( :angry: ) and found people asking 50% more for used ones than brand new in box ones...or $10 less than a new one, but with $14 shipping...

The picture I used in the fake facebook ad was taken from 3 miles away.  It is somehow still clearer than some real photos I have seen in for sale posts taken by someone who has full access to the damned car.  I'm pretty sure that at least 20% of sellers seem to take all their pictures on a flip phone with a smudged lens, at night under a new moon, while having a seizure, during an earthquake, while holding the camera either too close to focus or so far away the item doesn't have more than 100 pixels covering it.  I always assume they have a lot to hide in that case...much like "driven by a little old lady to church on Sundays" is exactly the same as "only fired 50 rounds through it"

Haha, we bought a car like that once.  10 years old and truly driven by an old lady on Sundays.  The car was perfect other than the scratched bumper that was a perfect match with the hole in the garage wall.

My other favorite line is "lots of good life left" when selling some clapped-out set of used tires.

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