Zeke

Uggg . I have a question about courtesy vs “ toxic masculinity “

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Last night we went to TTC. Entering the establishment was i and another woman. I said “ no mam I’ll get the door “ 

she replied “ I’ll get the next one” ( atmosphere break in entrance)

i was like “ no mam I’ll get that also”

Granted my hands were full ,but I was raised to open doors for ladies first, and other people also.

Im thinking about this; are we not allowed to open doors for women anymore? Did I insult her with the second door?

sincerly,

      -so confused 

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Don't care if I'm offending someone with my straight white male gender shaming toxic masculinity or whatever other offenses I may be committing, I'll keep holding the door because it is the polite thing to do.  Guys, girls, or whatever of the other 67 genders you might identify as, I don't particularly care.

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13 hours ago, Zeke said:

Last night we went to TTC. Entering the establishment was i and another woman. I said “ no mam I’ll get the door “ 

she replied “ I’ll get the next one” ( atmosphere break in entrance)

i was like “ no mam I’ll get that also”

Granted my hands were full ,but I was raised to open doors for ladies first, and other people also.

Im thinking about this; are we not allowed to open doors for women anymore? Did I insult her with the second door?

sincerly,

      -so confused 

That happens with me sometimes Zeke.  Of course being 111 years old that's understandable.

I still open doors for women.  Few get offended and if they do that's their problem.  Younger women seem to enjoy it as they're not as used to it as older women.

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Toxic masculinity does not exist.  It is a manufactured social engineering tool, a huge stinking heap of faulty rationalizations, cobbled together by libtarded feminists with penis envy (which is a real thing).  

Holding a door is not abusive, calling a female miss or ma'am is not abusive.  Feminists are trying to conflate the vestigial remains of chivalry with abuse.  How on God's green earth is standing when a woman comes to, or leaves a table abusive?

If ever there was actually such a thing as toxic masculinity, and the feministas wanted a legitimate target, they should go after rap music.  But they don't and will not because rap music, as truly misogynistic as it is, belongs to a culture represented by liberal democrats. 

Hold a door, oppress a woman, sing about gang raping a woman, free speech.  That is the logic of the institutions that created the imaginary concept of toxic masculinity.

So, all this hooey about toxic masculinity is bullshit.  The concept was designed to attack the polite traditions of white men and do away with traditional values altogether.

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IMO the vast majority of women - still *want* to be treated like ladies.....

It is always yes Ma'am and yes you hold doors open - you open car doors - you take THEM on dates and you let them sit FACING the room - if they complain - it is a slight on them not you.......

Be a man, act like a man, chivalry is NOT dead - unless your a soy boy and then your just kinda fucked..........  :)

Also when the time comes and yes, they allow you too - kiss THEM - hold THEM - caress them....  again unless your a soy boy and well she might as well be hanging out with her girlfriend.........  

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Toxic masculinity does not exist.  It is a manufactured social engineering tool, a huge stinking heap of faulty rationalizations, cobbled together by libtarded feminists with penis envy (which is a real thing).  
Holding a door is not abusive, calling a female miss or ma'am is not abusive.  Feminists are trying to conflate the vestigial remains of chivalry with abuse.  How on God's green earth is standing when a woman comes to, or leaves a table abusive?
If ever there was actually such a thing as toxic masculinity, and the feministas wanted a legitimate target, they should go after rap music.  But they don't and will not because rap music, as truly misogynistic as it is, belongs to a culture represented by liberal democrats. 
Hold a door, oppress a woman, sing about gang raping a woman, free speech.  That is the logic of the institutions that created the imaginary concept of toxic masculinity.
So, all this hooey about toxic masculinity is bullshit.  The concept was designed to attack the polite traditions of white men and do away with traditional values altogether.
Seriously though, what do you really think?

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

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Some women get offended when you hold the door because they feel it is a gesture from times when there were not equal rights among the sexes (whether perceived or actual).   There used to be a more widely social emphasis that men HAD TO hold the door for women and some are just so uptight and self-absorbed that it bothers them.  If they were on a sinking ship and the captain called "man the life boats, women and children first" would the women start protesting and complaining then? 

I usually hold the door for anyone, just because it's polite.  Once in a while I'll be in a hurry and go through a door while not paying as close attention to my surroundings and I've had women comment on me not holding the door for a woman.  Since they felt so indignant that they had to say something, I just respond with "Y'all wanted equal rights, holding your own door comes with it."  I don't really feel that way, but it shuts them down since they weren't expecting it.  

I was in Iraq when we did not yet have total control of the major cities.  I was there when the Marines went in to take over Fallujah.  I saw female soldiers in combat respond with perfect reflexes and instincts while there were male soldiers who panic and got overwhelmed and did not perform as expected.  I have no bias against women.

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Thought I'd relate a story from some time ago.  I was in another country where the women really liked American men.  Thought I'd ask the woman I was with what they liked about American men.  As I was doing so we were going through a door I had opened for her.  Her response? 

"If I were with a ______man I wouldn't get through that door unless I opened it myself".

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FYI, this isn't an example of toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is stuff like holding your feelings in because men don't show emotion. That's not healthy thus it's "toxic".

If you have to seriously go out of your way to open a door for someone, it's just obnoxious. If you get to the door at the same time, it's normal or if you are going thru a doorway and someone is going thru after you, but I can see how someone would think it's on the obnoxious side of things for another person to insist that they need to open the door for you when they have their hands full and such. Just seems like overkill.

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34 minutes ago, Greenday said:

FYI, this isn't an example of toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is stuff like holding your feelings in because men don't show emotion. That's not healthy thus it's "toxic".

I disagree.  Often, a man needs to keep his emotions in check because he needs to be able to solve whatever problem is happening.  Holding your feelings in is not toxic. Being able to control your emotions and continue to function is an important part of being a man.  A man also needs to be able to keep his feelings in check to be the rock that makes his family feel safe. I don't mean that men never get to cry but I do believe that a man can't be boohooing all the time and still be fulfilling the role society and the family needs him to fill.

If all that built up emotion is a problem, the good news is that God only makes you live about 80 years so you only have to man up for a relatively short time.

All the women I know like a man who behaves like a man. I don't spend time with anyone who doesn't....because I'm a man.

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6 minutes ago, maintenanceguy said:

I disagree.  Often, a man needs to keep his emotions in check because he needs to be able to solve whatever problem is happening.  Holding your feelings in is not toxic. Being able to control your emotions and continue to function is an important part of being a man.  A man also needs to be able to keep his feelings in check to be the rock that makes his family feel safe. I don't mean that men never get to cry but I do believe that a man can't be boohooing all the time and still be fulfilling the role society and the family needs him to fill.

If all that built up emotion is a problem, the good news is that God only makes you live about 80 years so you only have to man up for a relatively short time.

All the women I know like a man who behaves like a man. I don't spend time with anyone who doesn't....because I'm a man.

I'm not saying men should be weeping constantly. Just it's okay to show emotions from time to time. It's acceptable for a man to cry at times that aren't just funerals and births of their own child. It's not health or sane to bottle shit up until you explode.

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No  you did fine, most women today  arent used to real men. you do what you think is right, . alpha males do what they think is right wo being a jerk . to me a toxic male is a beta male who thinks they have to be a jerk to show dominance, basically a pretender. not realizing a true man follows a code of morals and ethics. when I was an leo there were certain women who i would want backing me up in a bar fight, but the majority were a no, its a mindset. alpha equals following your code of ethics and getting things done wo worrying about what others think. this doesnt mean you step on everyones neck on the way.  the feminists out there you cant please no matter what you do. The men of todays society are a watered down version of what they used to because of social programming and tv. Do you notice every commercial and tv show shows a bumbling male until the female comes along and fixes everything. Do what you think is right because you think its right, have a code of morals and ethics, help the weak male or female. there is strength in silence, wo announcing to the world how great one is . and yes men do beak down and cry once in a while, thats real strenght. 

BTW after the first sentence this wasn't meant towards you , its just a general statement, I would have opened that door also.

 

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It doesn't sound like this woman at the range objected to the door being opened. She was just being friendly and trying to return a courtesy... which is always fine. Personally? I think any woman who objects to a man opening a door has... issues... issues that it's no one's responsibility but her own (and perhaps her shrink) to resolve. ;)

Personally... as I see it, I was blessed with many strengths... but upper body strength is certainly not one of them! I have long had a pet peeve with nearby malls that have entrance doors that are so heavy it's like trying to enter a crypt. I usually mutter under my breath: must have been designed by a man! I mean, malls are populated disproportionately by women, yet they have these doors that you have to practically dislocate a shoulder to open. Ridiculous! So, yes, I appreciate when a guy opens and holds it for me. This is about POLITENESS... CIVIL BEHAVIOR... COURTESY. As such, I always give a big smile and say "thank you"... because I know he didn't have to do that.

Likewise, despite my wimpy arms, I am a door-opener myself. I will scoot around people to open doors (yes, even heavy ones) if I sense they could use the help (anyone with a stroller, wheelchair, walker, baby carrier, toddler(s), big packages, or anyone very elderly or with an unsteady gait... although I always try to be subtle if the person has a disability, so I don't offend them).

I also pause and keep a door ajar for anyone (male or female, in any condition) IF they're only a few steps behind me. Unlike opening a heavy door, merely holding a door ajar takes virtually no strength... so really, what's with people today that they allow a door to close right in someone's face? Incredibly rude! Another pet peeve of mine!  I do find though that some men seem a bit flustered when I merely hold the door open for that extra few seconds. They usually scramble and dash ahead to open the next door (if there's a second set)… kind of cute... like I inadvertently disrupted their code of conduct. But, again, once the heavy door has been pushed open, merely holding it ajar for someone right behind you is a simple courtesy that takes minimal effort and (don't gag!)... it makes the world a nicer place. :angel:

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