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Pizza Bob

A Tribute to Leo

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I’m sure that most of you have shooting buddies. People in the firearms community with common interests with whom you can freely talk about guns, gear and whatever trips your trigger. Leo was that person for me.

I’ve known Leo for 47 years. We met, as one would expect, at a turkey shoot in Harvey’s Lake, PA. He was as enamored with S&W then as I am now. He was my teacher, whom I eventually eclipsed and became his teacher. That was only because Leo was somewhat of a luddite and never explored, or even knew how to explore, the Internet. It was a knowledge base that he denied to himself.

That only slowed him down slightly as I helped bird dog for him and arrange for some primo S&W purchases. Always fun spending OPM.

When I met Leo, he was a SS Disability Claims Examiner. Was married and owned his own home. Over time he confided in me that the two things that he wanted most in his life were to join the military (he had an appointment to West Point, but couldn’t pass the physical because he was color blind), and to become a nurse. This came about because of a teenage job as an orderly at the local veteran’s hospital. Also, when I met him, he was about as tall as he was wide.

He was one of the most single minded of purpose people I’ll ever know. After I moved to NJ (with my future ex-wife) we kept in touch by phone, but hadn’t visited in some time. He started to fulfill his life’s ambitions by getting his Associates Degree in nursing and passing his boards to become an RN. Then one day I got a call from him in which he imparted that he had divorced his wife, sold his house and joined the navy. He made the age deadline by two months – probably the oldest ensign in the navy. I queried him about his weight – he told me he had dropped 90 pounds. When asked how, he said a lot of salad and a lot of Nautilus. He became a navy nurse.

He intended to be a lifer. His first duty station was Camp Lejeune and he spent, I believe, six years there. It was during this time that it was later revealed, the water was contaminated by all sorts of nasty things – benzene to name but one. This wasn’t discovered until years after his tenure there and the military gave those stationed there special dispensation when it came to future medical problems.

From Lejeune he was stationed in Guam. He once wrote to me and told me that he finally had figured out what Guam stood for: Give Up And Masturbate.

I think that, as with many in the medical field, Leo was a bit of a hypochondriac. He was constantly having himself checked for this or that malady – including several trips back from Guam to Bethesda.

I always say, that if you give doctors enough opportunity, they’ll eventually find something. Such was the case with my pal Leo. After eleven years in the navy, he was diagnosed with MS. He got a medical discharge, which eventually rose to 100% disability. Still didn’t slow him down too much – just changed calibers, from the big bores to .32 S&W Long. Bought a house out in the country and became somewhat of a hermit. He eschewed TV and the movies but was a voracious reader – amassing over 3000 books in his small house. Most rooms in the house were floor to ceiling book shelves – except for his reloading room, which was floor to ceiling components, loaded ammo and about five presses – so he kept busy and had a few close friends that kept an eye on him.

He used to drive down to visit my SO and me and stay for several days at a time. We would do the rounds of the LGS’s. He was especially fond of our dog Maggie.

Over the last seven or eight months, he grew increasingly hard to contact. I’d call and get his voice mail, leave a message that was seldom returned. Finally, there were no return calls at all. This sent me to the Internet to check the obituaries, as I feared the worst. No obit to be found.

In my last visit to him, he had showed me a Trijicon RX30 red dot sight and offered it to me at a great price. I came home and thought about for a while and decided to buy it from him. I sent him a check. It was after this that he dropped from sight. One day I get a text from an unknown person. They told me that Leo was in the hospital and had instructed this person to send me the sight. I knew the name and had maybe met him once, but this guy turned out to be a saint.

He found Leo sitting in the dark at his house. The electricity had been turned off because he hadn’t paid the bill. There was no telling how long he had been sitting there, but the food in the refrigerator had spoiled, so it was at least a couple days. Money wasn’t really the problem – although it was later found out that an unscrupulous care giver and a waitress at a restaurant he frequented, had taken him for several thousand dollars with their tales of woe.

End game was that Leo became less and less lucid and even became combative. He was eventually 302’d and that was extended several times. He was diagnosed with dementia. It took them a while to sort out his meds (not sure they really have) and he is now living in a veteran’s home in Scranton, PA.

I found all this out after another flurry of trying to track him down and/or see if he had died. I finally got hold of the fellow that mailed my sight (Scott). Scott related this whole sad story to me. He had been taking care of Leo all these months. Had gotten power of attorney and straightened out his finances. Helped him (he has periods of lucidity) liquidate his considerable firearms collection (at one point he had over 70 N-frame Smiths alone), go through the commitment process and eventually get him admitted to the veteran’s home.

Looking back over what I have written, I noticed that I keep referring to him in the past tense. Make no mistake, he is still alive. I actually spoke to him today – which was the impetus for this lengthy post. He is not the Leo that I once knew, with whom I shared shooting experiences and discussed the pros and cons of one caliber over another, or the benefits of a particular Smith & Wesson and whether or not it was worth the asking price. I don’t know if it was the meds they have him on or just his condition, given the dementia, but it was just sad. I’m glad that he is being taken care of, in what Scott describes as a wonderful facility. But I have to wonder if it is all worth it. If Leo were cognizant of his condition, and still in possession of some of his prized S&W’s, I’m not sure that this wouldn’t have ended another way – and the sad part about that, is that I’m not sure that would have been a bad thing. I miss my buddy.

If you have stuck with this, this long, thanks for reading this. I have to go, my keyboard seems to be leaking.

Adios,

Pizza Bob

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Ohh, I'm sorry, Bob! I've had relatives with dementia. It's a terrible, god awful disease... it really robs people of life's joy (both the patients and their family/friends).

If there are any upsides to this sad story... you are richer for his friendship, he is safe and comfortable, and after getting ripped off by a couple of scoundrels, it does sound as though someone decent stepped in to "do the right thing". Take comfort where you can!

 

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Thanks for sharing.

My wife and I are poa for her grandma and my grandmother. Both 94 & 96. Both in nursing homes. Have good days and bad days. Both have dementia. Real eye opener at how the government milks everything they've worked their whole lives for. It's extremely sad.

As for your friend, try and enjoy the time. Don't take for granted (you're not). Even if he does not show it he appreciates it. 

Who's cutting the onions around here? 

Gotta go....

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Read the whole thing Bob, your writing is always engaging. 

Congrats to Leo - not many would pursue their dreams at the late stage he did.  Sounds like he did everything he wanted and enjoyed the hell out of his life while he could.  Condolences that he's not the person that you once knew, but you're both the richer for your friendship.

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8 hours ago, Pizza Bob said:

I’m sure that most of you have shooting buddies. People in the firearms community with common interests with whom you can freely talk about guns, gear and whatever trips your trigger. Leo was that person for me.

I’ve known Leo for 47 years. We met, as one would expect, at a turkey shoot in Harvey’s Lake, PA. He was as enamored with S&W then as I am now. He was my teacher, whom I eventually eclipsed and became his teacher. That was only because Leo was somewhat of a luddite and never explored, or even knew how to explore, the Internet. It was a knowledge base that he denied to himself.

That only slowed him down slightly as I helped bird dog for him and arrange for some primo S&W purchases. Always fun spending OPM.

When I met Leo, he was a SS Disability Claims Examiner. Was married and owned his own home. Over time he confided in me that the two things that he wanted most in his life were to join the military (he had an appointment to West Point, but couldn’t pass the physical because he was color blind), and to become a nurse. This came about because of a teenage job as an orderly at the local veteran’s hospital. Also, when I met him, he was about as tall as he was wide.

He was one of the most single minded of purpose people I’ll ever know. After I moved to NJ (with my future ex-wife) we kept in touch by phone, but hadn’t visited in some time. He started to fulfill his life’s ambitions by getting his Associates Degree in nursing and passing his boards to become an RN. Then one day I got a call from him in which he imparted that he had divorced his wife, sold his house and joined the navy. He made the age deadline by two months – probably the oldest ensign in the navy. I queried him about his weight – he told me he had dropped 90 pounds. When asked how, he said a lot of salad and a lot of Nautilus. He became a navy nurse.

He intended to be a lifer. His first duty station was Camp Lejeune and he spent, I believe, six years there. It was during this time that it was later revealed, the water was contaminated by all sorts of nasty things – benzene to name but one. This wasn’t discovered until years after his tenure there and the military gave those stationed there special dispensation when it came to future medical problems.

From Lejeune he was stationed in Guam. He once wrote to me and told me that he finally had figured out what Guam stood for: Give Up And Masturbate.

I think that, as with many in the medical field, Leo was a bit of a hypochondriac. He was constantly having himself checked for this or that malady – including several trips back from Guam to Bethesda.

I always say, that if you give doctors enough opportunity, they’ll eventually find something. Such was the case with my pal Leo. After eleven years in the navy, he was diagnosed with MS. He got a medical discharge, which eventually rose to 100% disability. Still didn’t slow him down too much – just changed calibers, from the big bores to .32 S&W Long. Bought a house out in the country and became somewhat of a hermit. He eschewed TV and the movies but was a voracious reader – amassing over 3000 books in his small house. Most rooms in the house were floor to ceiling book shelves – except for his reloading room, which was floor to ceiling components, loaded ammo and about five presses – so he kept busy and had a few close friends that kept an eye on him.

He used to drive down to visit my SO and me and stay for several days at a time. We would do the rounds of the LGS’s. He was especially fond of our dog Maggie.

Over the last seven or eight months, he grew increasingly hard to contact. I’d call and get his voice mail, leave a message that was seldom returned. Finally, there were no return calls at all. This sent me to the Internet to check the obituaries, as I feared the worst. No obit to be found.

In my last visit to him, he had showed me a Trijicon RX30 red dot sight and offered it to me at a great price. I came home and thought about for a while and decided to buy it from him. I sent him a check. It was after this that he dropped from sight. One day I get a text from an unknown person. They told me that Leo was in the hospital and had instructed this person to send me the sight. I knew the name and had maybe met him once, but this guy turned out to be a saint.

He found Leo sitting in the dark at his house. The electricity had been turned off because he hadn’t paid the bill. There was no telling how long he had been sitting there, but the food in the refrigerator had spoiled, so it was at least a couple days. Money wasn’t really the problem – although it was later found out that an unscrupulous care giver and a waitress at a restaurant he frequented, had taken him for several thousand dollars with their tales of woe.

End game was that Leo became less and less lucid and even became combative. He was eventually 302’d and that was extended several times. He was diagnosed with dementia. It took them a while to sort out his meds (not sure they really have) and he is now living in a veteran’s home in Scranton, PA.

I found all this out after another flurry of trying to track him down and/or see if he had died. I finally got hold of the fellow that mailed my sight (Scott). Scott related this whole sad story to me. He had been taking care of Leo all these months. Had gotten power of attorney and straightened out his finances. Helped him (he has periods of lucidity) liquidate his considerable firearms collection (at one point he had over 70 N-frame Smiths alone), go through the commitment process and eventually get him admitted to the veteran’s home.

Looking back over what I have written, I noticed that I keep referring to him in the past tense. Make no mistake, he is still alive. I actually spoke to him today – which was the impetus for this lengthy post. He is not the Leo that I once knew, with whom I shared shooting experiences and discussed the pros and cons of one caliber over another, or the benefits of a particular Smith & Wesson and whether or not it was worth the asking price. I don’t know if it was the meds they have him on or just his condition, given the dementia, but it was just sad. I’m glad that he is being taken care of, in what Scott describes as a wonderful facility. But I have to wonder if it is all worth it. If Leo were cognizant of his condition, and still in possession of some of his prized S&W’s, I’m not sure that this wouldn’t have ended another way – and the sad part about that, is that I’m not sure that would have been a bad thing. I miss my buddy.

If you have stuck with this, this long, thanks for reading this. I have to go, my keyboard seems to be leaking.

Adios,

Pizza Bob

i'm sorry man. I went through something like this with my grandpop. he had alzeimers. coming home from work, i'd go talk to him. sometimes he'd "come back" for a few minutes. then he'd be off to whatever land it was. it was sad. it ripped me apart, but I was the only person he'd come back for. 

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I had account here some time ago under an ATT.net email address that I can no longer access.

My family has shared Leo with Bob, Scotti, Fred and many others for quite some time, 31years for me. He loved our big Labradors.

I was on the same frantic quest to find my friend and tracked down Bob through another hobby. The last time we spoke I chewed him out telling him I thought he was dead.

There will never be another Leo and we are all better for having known him.

He told me numerous times that his last steps would be into the woods...I'll just leave it at that.

The Table at Valhalla will at some time in the future welcome a cranky nurse and he will soon be trading in swords and axes.

Keyboard dust...

 

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I am so sorry Bob & Rudison.

Dementia is a horrible disease that steals your loved one only leaving a shell. The lucid moments come only often enough to remind you of the person you love only to have them stolen away again. My Father-in-law's second wife was struck with it and the paranoia was awful. She would cut up her clothes and then accuse John of doing it. She also ran away may times and claimed that John was trying to kill her. That couldn't have been farther from the truth.

He looked after her at home by himself most of the time. The local authority would provide respite care 1 week out of 4 and my (then) wife and I would take him in and build him back up for the next onslaught.

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@Pizza Bob:

Thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt and eloquent personal story about your dear friend Leo. 
It is a reminder to all of us to not take any day for granted, let alone our good physical and mental health, for there is no guarantee that either will last as long as we do.  After reading your story, I was motivated to reach out to some very good old friends whom I have not heard from or spoken to in way too long.  After family, it is our ongoing contact with our good friends that make our lives so much more enjoyable and rewarding in sharing our life experiences.
All the best....!

AVB-AMG

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