I have small hands, too - and not terrific grip/arm strength either. That said, I've often been surprised at how many factors go into how "comfortable" a gun is for me - yes, the width of the grip, but also the recoil, the grippiness/stickiness, and the ergonomics. (For instance, for whatever reason, even a double stack with a curved backstrap fits into my hand sooo much more comfortably, it's amazing). Then you've also got guns like the M&P series (I believe?) that has the modular style grips where you can pop in larger or smaller parts to adjust to hand size. And, of course, you have just slimmer grips you can buy for 1911's for instance. It's pretty dizzying if she's new to this (is she?).
My advice is have your wife go to one of the meetings/open shoots of either The Well-Armed Woman (TWAW) or Second Amendment Women (SAW). Each organization has more than one chapter in the state - between the 2 they're really all over NJ. She will be able to go there (and pretty sure you can go as a non-member at least the first time) and have an entire row of ports filled with guns that women have chosen for themselves (many of whom also have small hands). She can go to each port - pick the gun up, shoot it, see how it feels, etc. She may even want to hit a couple of different chapter meetings. After that process, she'll probably have tried at least 20+ guns and will likely have developed a shortlist of options.
If interested, please PM me and let me know where you live, I'll get back to you with the meetings that would be closest to your household or her workplace. (And BTW, she's always welcome to come to the next TWAW meeting at Tactical Training Center in Flemington, NJ, if that's not too far for her. That's where I go & I would be happy to meet her there and be her shooting buddy for the evening!)