My wife also suffers from the same complaint about kick on pistols, she is 4’ 11” and has very tiny hands, although she can drive tacks with my Colt 1911 in 45acp, she doesn’t enjoy it, even though the single stack fits her hand well. I have a 38 captain special, she likes the small revolver, likes the 38 special round, but doesn’t like cocking the hammer, and double action is to strong a pull for her, grrr…
She primarily shoots her M&P 380 EZ, small pistol but with a bit of kick, she will run 3-4 mags through it and say she had enough due to the kick. Today I took her to the range and her first question was, did you bring my Ruger .22, ahh back to the no kick, didn’t bring the Ruger but had her try my Beretta PX4 Storm compact Carry, explaining that it has less kick than her .380 EZ even though it’s a 9mm, she laughed.
I installed the Langdon trigger job in a bag and the transfer bar, what a trigger pull it has now, so smooth. After 3 mags she says to me, ohh, I like this. The rotating barrel absorbs some of the recoil turning it into a very soft shooter, on par or less than her .380, at 27oz it’s not a deal breaker for my wife, soft shooting with a great trigger, finally I get a smile out of her.
I know it’s not a revolver, but if your wife is anything like mine, you’re going to spend a bunch of money on hand guns to get a scrunched nose and a “I don’t like it”. Your wife is welcome to try it out, if you make it down to Weshoot in Lakewood some Sunday, send a PM and I can meet you there. Good Luck…