Okay, so I pick my daughter and her friend up today for the weekend. Friends parents are divorced (i did not know this) and the father calls me after making the 1.5 hour trip from staten island.

 

He states he had no idea there was a sleep over. I say okay, so how do you want to handle it. He replies with i dont know. If I was there, I would slap her in the face. The kid is adamant that she said this to the father twice and even before she left the house today.

 

So the guy says he wants the kid back now. I literally just got in and was cooking breakfast for the kids. I explain that I was cooking and that I would leave about noon and be there by 1:30ish depending on traffic. He says it's okay. I ask if he minded meeting closer to the NJ border since I had to drive back again and he goes off. I don't even know you...blah...blah trying to get all gangster etc...I replied that I was at his door this morning to meet him and he didn't even come out.

 

Long story short, I said hey, don't get all worked up because I had no idea of this shot storm. I also said that if I was in his shoes, I would drive down and get my kid. He was like, okay then, I'll come down. I gave my address to the guy and he's on his way.

 

Knowing people from Staten Island (i'm one of them) he's gonna get worked up and make this even worse. I am also concerned that he may beat the shot out of the kid.

 

advice please.......................

 

did I do anything wrong? Should I call the police to cover my ass?

Hmmm.

Does his daughter frequently or ever get beat?

Did he make a threat toward you?

Have someone video tape the meeting to CYA.

Jeez, a real sh!t sandwich...

 

Video tape is an excellent idea.

Ask the daughter if he physcical abuses her.

If you were in his shoes and didnt know about the sleep over, would you feel the same vis a vis the distance from home etc?

I'm betting he didnt know about it judging from his reaction.

Talk to him calm and reasonably when he gets there, see his reaction, he's probably just a concerned father.

Do you have a contact # for her mom? If so use it!

 

P.S. you did nothing wrong.

as far as calling police, see how it goes when he gets there.

Get someone else over to wittness anything that might happen.

good luck let us know how it goes.. got any LEO friends? if so maybe have them come hang out with you for an hour or so.. I would definitely have someone else in the house when he picks up the girl so it does not boil down to your word against his..

I think if I was in your position I would walk out to meet the father when he arrives and apologies for the mis communication. I think the only thing you may have done wrong was not to insit on meeting the father before bringing the person home with you. it does seem as though he did not know and found a notr of where she was going. Hopefully every thing works out and he has a change of heart after he meets with you. I would also take PK90's addvice.

Its possible that the guy didn't know about the sleep over but a normal person would be like okay, well she can't sleep over and needs to be home latyer on or they would say I'm coming to get my kid.

 

He knew she was coming to NJ to go to the park, why would he have not met me. Its okay to go to nj for the day to great adventure but not to sleep over? In my mind, there isn't a differK

ence. I would never let me kid be in a different state if I didn't meet/ know the people.

 

I had the kid call the mother to explain the issues and she said let "him" deal with it. Who "him" is, idk

Make sure you have the kid's name address and phone # before she leaves. Have your daughter call her in 2 hours to check if she's okay.

He didn't threaten me.....he was trying to give off that I am a NY'er attitude to try and itimidate me. I will ask my wife to video it.

 

Also these kids are 11. You would think it wouldn't be an issue since this got hammered out across a few days. This wasn't just a pop up thing.

just give him his daughter and let him on his way, if he tries to argue shut the door in his face and go watch t.v.

 

The worst thing you can do is argue on their parenting skills, that's just going to make things worse.

the ONLY concern is that of the child.. if this guy is a jerk off.. and takes it out on the kid.. that isn't right either.. he will probably come get his kid.. and play the tough guy roll.. and then be on his way.. we all know "those people" live for the moment to act tough.. but none of them actually want to GET tough.. so i think you will be ok..

Its possible that the guy didn't know about the sleep over but a normal person would be like okay, well she can't sleep over and needs to be home latyer on or they would say I'm coming to get my kid.

 

He knew she was coming to NJ to go to the park, why would he have not met me. Its okay to go to nj for the day to great adventure but not to sleep over? In my mind, there isn't a differK

ence. I would never let me kid be in a different state if I didn't meet/ know the people.

 

I had the kid call the mother to explain the issues and she said let "him" deal with it. Who "him" is, idk

 

Wow, real concerned mom huh? Just keep your cool, have another adult with you when he shows.

any update?

I was in the driveway when the guy arrived and I told his daughter her dad was here. He got out of his car with an attitude. He just said lets go and he apologized for any problems. He said he had no idea that it was a sleep over.

 

I just basically kept my cool and let him feel good about himself. I watched as the kid got in the car and I didn't see the kid get hit, though you can see he was pissed off and yelling at her in the car. He was yelling for like 2 minutes straight before starting the car and leaving.

 

I did learn a few things from this. I will never let a kid sleep over or come with us again without talking to the parents. I want to talk on the phone first and then meet them when I pick the kid up. I don't need this kinda drama, that's why I left Staten Island.

 

Thanks for the advice.

glad things went smooth Bryan and we didn't have to take up a collection to bail you out of jail

glad things went smooth Bryan and we didn't have to take up a collection to bail you out of jail

 

no kiddin, thats almost 2 trips to the pokey in one month...

Bry@n- You are one lucky deparado!!! Minor across state lines could be a real problem especially when two parents don't get along. If one had a hair up their donkey you could have been charged with kidnaping.

 

This is why divorce sucks as does poor parenting.

 

If there is a next time with any kid get a note from a parent. It sounds extreme but it may save your bacon.

glad things went smooth Bryan and we didn't have to take up a collection to bail you out of jail

 

:text-imwithstupid:

Old School,

I thought the same thing. I didn't even know they were divorced until I was in the car and the kid said it when we were around 8a on the turnpike.

 

Regulator,

yeah tell me about it. even when I am on the straight and narrow, I can't catch a break. The man is always trying to keep a brotha down.

 

TJ,

yeah I was happy about it. I just got a bill for $1500 for my daughters broken nose. The last thing I needed was bail and lawyer fees.

Bry@n- You are one lucky deparado!!! Minor across state lines could be a real problem especially when two parents don't get along. If one had a hair up their donkey you could have been charged with kidnaping.

 

This is why divorce sucks as does poor parenting.

 

If there is a next time with any kid get a note from a parent. It sounds extreme but it may save your bacon.

 

 

Stuff and nonsense..as long as one parent gave the OK there wasnt an issue with that or "Interference with Custody"..especially once he said that the father didnt bother to even stick his nose out when he had picked the daughter up that morning.

yeah I was happy about it. I just got a bill for $1500 for my daughters broken nose. The last thing I needed was bail and lawyer fees.

 

Why did you punch your daughter in the nose? :naughty: Just kidding.

 

Glad everything worked out OK today

 

--Daniel

I just got a bill for $1500 for my daughters broken nose.

 

forward to Obama..

Oh, that is after insurance. Some of it was our deductable and the rest was partially covered. So I gotta get screwed by my own ins co. and then pay taxes for low lifes that don't work to get healthcare...grrrr.....

Bry@n- You are one lucky deparado!!! Minor across state lines could be a real problem especially when two parents don't get along. If one had a hair up their donkey you could have been charged with kidnaping.

 

This is why divorce sucks as does poor parenting.

 

If there is a next time with any kid get a note from a parent. It sounds extreme but it may save your bacon.

 

 

Stuff and nonsense..as long as one parent gave the OK there wasnt an issue with that or "Interference with Custody"..especially once he said that the father didnt bother to even stick his nose out when he had picked the daughter up that morning.

 

KpdPipes- Never say never!

It doesn't matter whether it could or couldn't happen per se. If he called the cops and I got locked up, it would be a huge ordeal regardless.

 

Makes you want to just stay in a bubble and say screw everyone.

It doesn't matter whether it could or couldn't happen per se. If he called the cops and I got locked up, it would be a huge ordeal regardless.

 

Makes you want to just stay in a bubble and say screw everyone.

 

 

My point exactly!!

I knew what you meant Frank. I agree. Sometimes the liability outweighs the return.

It doesn't matter whether it could or couldn't happen per se. If he called the cops and I got locked up, it would be a huge ordeal regardless.

 

Makes you want to just stay in a bubble and say screw everyone.

 

 

i learned that lesson the hard way.. family... very close friends.. and not that much more than that.. it minimizes open end liabilities.. one less person to know where i live.. or that i own firearms.. one less person to know when i will be out for the day.. we pretty much keep to ourselves.. my girlfriend and I have a bunch of acquaintances between us.. but don't get overly involved in others..