Sooo, this morning in new Orleans I got "selected" to go through the body scanner. No way! So I stood there for about 5

minutes with the gate keeper shouting non stop shouting "I need male assistance". They pull me aside for a groping, I mean pat down. As the guy is patting me down I say if he had a little coconut oil, it would have saved me my last trip to Thailand. He didn't think that was funny. Then he gets near my groin and I say "dude, don't touch my junk." so after a rather exciting experience i ask him if it was as good for him as it was for me and if I could have a cigarette. He didn't think that was funny either. So after he is done messaging me, I mean groping, wait no I mean patting me down he has to test his glove in a machine. As I am waiting, I politely ask him if I can tip him for his services, again he didn't think that was funny. I then ask him if he got his training at marilyns in Thailand. Again not funny. This time I get lectured if I have any more comments I would be labeled as a resistor. So the test is done and I walk away and I hear the next patron in line ask "hey Ming Lee, how much does this cost again. And how much extra for a happy ending". LOL

I have to get on a plane soon.. I am considering wearing a kilt, wonder how uncomfortable that would make them..

I guess it helped thAt I had a longisland iced tea for breakfast

Lol nice one.

Very nicely done!! However I do not see how you could be considered as "resisting" for having comments like that.

That is funny stuff, I really liked the Ming Lee comment

You should have asked him if he was salary or comission plus tips.

lol this is hilarious I supposed one could also ask what the frisker/groper/violator would like for breakfast the next morning

You should have winked at him then asked for his phone number

Imagine...

 

"Since you guys confiscated my tube of KY For Him, I guess you'll be providing some for this?"

If I ever go thru a pat down I'm gonna make sure I have a raging hard on.

If I ever go thru a pat down I'm gonna make sure I have a raging hard on.

 

Holy crap! I just almost started crying I started laughing so hard. After the Long island iced tea for breakfast and then this comment, too funny! Good luck with that if it's a dude!

If I ever go thru a pat down I'm gonna make sure I have a raging hard on.

 

Ya its all fun and games till you put someones eye out

I figure since I make this trip every 3 weeks, I am gonna get really good at pissing off the TSA! It will be a game for me!

So if she say's dropem big boy what ya gona do!!!

And keep an eye on that night stick

 

Eric, you've got balls! Literally. LOL

I can't imagine myself doing that...just because I don't want any sort of trouble where I might end up having to pay fines and legal fees and could possibly prevent me from ever owning another gun.

I just hope when they are on their knees, and close to my butt, I can rip a nasty one in their face.

I just hope when they are on their knees, and close to my butt, I can rip a nasty one in their face.

 

lolol. they might think your using chemical weapons against them

You should have gotten the table shower as a 'resistor'

I dont see how a couple comments could get you in trouble though. I mean honestly, they are going to sit there in front of a judge and say "Well your honor, I was cupping his balls through his jeans when he asked me for a happy ending." Seriously, what judge would not side with you? Just dont try it in NJ

I dont see how a couple comments could get you in trouble though. I mean honestly, they are going to sit there in front of a judge and say "Well your honor, I was cupping his balls through his jeans when he asked me for a happy ending." Seriously, what judge would not side with you? Just dont try it in NJ

 

NJ's only concern would be if he paid the income tax on the tip you paid them for a happy ending...

"You will be lablled a resistor." I wonder how many ohms?

Labeled a "resistor"? What the hell is this, Burma?

Seems to be a pretty Fascist way to simply say that you're being uncooperative, even though you were being completely cooperative. I wonder where they got that talking point.

Seems to be a pretty Fascist way to simply say that you're being uncooperative, even though you were being completely cooperative. I wonder where they got that talking point.

 

Probably from John Pistole...."You must submit..."

Resistance is futile. Freedom is irrelevant.

Next time you should wear this t-shirt:

http://dillyeo.com/touch-my-junk-t-shirt

Which they would probably take as suspicion enough to pull you to the side.