I'm not sure why I'm posting this or if maybe I was wondering if anyone else had a day like mine. But I was picking up a forum member to head down to Old Bridge for the match this morning and before I picked him up a song came on the radio. Not sure of the name of the song but it was a 9/11 tribute and a girl was crying for her dad who died on 9/11 and was saying how much she missed him. Well, I put myself in her fathers position and imagined my daughter saying these same words. It put me in tears and I had to change the channel. Also, I had to clear my head as I was coming up on my friends house and didn't want to look crazy with tears in my eye and all that. I couldn't get that girls voice out of my head all day and it made me want to go home and grab my little girl and kiss her and thank God I had her. Again, not sure why I'm puting this on here but it changed my day. What was supposed to be a day of shooting fun turned into an event I wanted no part of, I just wanted to go home.

 

Thanks for listening.

Ray,

 

That was my reaction 10 yrs ago with my, at that time, 19 month old daughter. I understand.

Its better to have these moments when you are not impacted by a disaster, than to have a disaster and wish you had those moments. Its always good to take time and realize what we have, does not matter what triggered the thought, as long as you act on it.

you've just shared us how much you love your daughter!!!godbless you and your family!!!

I'm good at hiding my emotions, and today was just one of those days that I was there on the outside but on the inside I was home.

I had a similar reaction on my way to CJ this morning and thought of my kids as well being in that situation. There was a speach by a son who lost his father when he was 9. He spoke about how he wished that his father had been there to see him graduate high school, get his first job and countless other things in his life. Then he went on to say that his younger brother was only 2 at the time and that he spent the last 10 years teaching his brother the things that his father had tought him and that he wished that his brother had a chance to know his father , as he had. It was heartbreaking.

Today was the day to remember the passed and to be thankful for the future. I spent my day being thankful for everyone and everything in my life. I felt it was the only right thing....AMERICAN thing to do. I flew my flag high and proud today. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

 

-Scott

That's okay Mary. Did you hike up your skirt and shoot well at the match?

I don't think I could bear that similar feeling and the sad response I have when I think of what happened and then I think of the children that were affected and then think of my own children unless I let that feeling, those tears, a feeling I still have after ten years, and not just on 911... unless I let that feeling of grief hit me deep inside and then let it turn into anger and then into resolve.

 

That resolve is tempered with the optimism I have in our American spirit, an American desire for peace and justice, and a steadfast faith in overcoming that evil. That has enabled me to bring my children into the world after that bitter day.

 

But I will never let go of those feelings and the sadness that they bring. I remember how markedly beautiful and perfect that crisp, September morning was as I was driving to work and then how silent it was afterward. The sky was so beautiful and silent for days after. Now, I am silent and reflective.

I was in school, teaching a PC Technology class when an English teacher came down because he knew I had Internet in my room. A few minutes later the principal came on the loudspeaker and called 27 students down to the office, with no explanation. My buddy, Wayne, and I knew immediately why. We lost former students, students parents and friends on September 11th.

 

Over the next 30 minutes, the word spread and those with the "forbidden cell phones" started to get calls from home. It was like the whole school, in fact the whole world, came to a halt! My son called from his job in Holmdel and said they could see smoke coming from NY. His GF at the time was doing some field studies for Rutgers in the Meadowlands and could see the whole thing. Our lives were forever changed.

 

So, yes, I do remember where I was when the world stopped turning! I will remember it forever.

That's okay Mary. Did you hike up your skirt and shoot well at the match?

 

No, I didn't.

I shot at CJ yesterday. USPSA. I had bacon for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to show my support against the F-wad terrorists. One stage I shot all my targets with headshots, while pretending it was Bin Laden and all the other terrorists.

 

Did it change anything? No. Was yesterday a sad day? Yes. I just did my part in my little corner of the world. It's all I can do.

I have those kind of days too sometimes. I don't know, maybe little girls just do that to fathers...

Ray:

 

Totally understandable, buddy. 9-11 reverberates with each of us a thousand different ways.

 

I was close to it when it happened, being on the NY Waterway ferry, going from Colgate to my place of work underneath 5 WTC when the first plane hit. I lost at least 13 people that I knew from Bayonne in the WTC, along with 3 other acquaintances from both the FDNY and the company we rented space from. Also, two of my old Little League moms who were on Flight 93, and perished in Shanksville, PA. So this week was not fun, but at least I'm alive to get all weepy and ****.

 

What really freaked me out was seeing the series finale of "Rescue Me" last week. During the closing soliloquy Dennis Leary is berating a class of probies. Behind him was a huge flag made up of the names of all of the FDNY dead from 9-11. For a solid two minutes or so, the names of the two firemen I knew--brothers, no less--were directly behind him, prominently on-screen for almost the entire scene. That, more than any of the hours of other 9-11 programming I've viewed this week, really got to me.

 

Anyway, anything that makes you appreciate your loved ones, making you want to hold them for dear life, isn't all a bad thing, is it? Just makes us realize how lucky we truly are.

 

Regards,

Scott