When shipping a firearm, I often tell the clerk it is a Multi Hole Punching Machine, if asked.

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-allowed-back-on-twitter-after-being-hired-as-taliban-spokesman

Trump Sneaks Back On Twitter By Disguising Self As Taliban Spokesperson

 

Hello.

Hi, table for two, please.
 

Sure, and your name.
 

Rodger
 

Great. And do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?
 

We do. Can you tell us who our server will be?
 

Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.
 

Great. Can you show us Brad's vaccination card?
 

Um...
 

And also, can you provide me with proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?
 

Um...
 

Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc, 

so if you could provide us with Brad's most recent tox screen, that would be great.
 

Um... Let me get the manager for you.
 

That would be great, thanks.
 

On second thought, I'll need that info on everyone who works here, thanks for complying!

 Guess what’s good for the goose is good for the gander…

 

 

You can say that again!

29 minutes ago, JohnnyB said:

You can say that again!

 

 

Subject: Fw: Sign Language

 

SIGN LANGUAGE

1. That post needs to be filled ASAP! 2. This is one clever ad 3. There is no such thing as bad publicity 4. Reality keeps outdoing itself... 5. What to do when you're cold 6. They weren't joking when they said those muffins were big 7. Something to think about 8. No lies on this sign 9. We see what you did there 10. We can hear this sign 11. I'd heed the warning 12. Things I hate 13. Push 14. Safety comes first! 15. What part of private don't you understand? 16. Relevant 17. Good deal 18. So, is it a drill? 19. Good to know 20. You've been warned

 

 

Virus-free. www.avg.com

I called this establishment whio requires proof of the (non vaccine) vaccine. I asked him if he will provide me with a copy of all of his employees vaxx cards. He told me he will not and I asked then why do i need to show you mine. He suggested I don't come.

 

You may want to call him as well he was very arrogant and I expext he's getting lots of calls!

 

https://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Ruthie's Bar-B-Q & Pizza in Montclair is requiring proof of COVID-19 vaccination for indoor dining.

 

WATCH: Will you dine at a restaurant that requires proof of vaccination? Tony Caputo is live.

 

 

Potential customers are reacting to a decision to only allow vaccinated customers to dine inside the restaurant.  

 

Some Construction  Trade Humor

 

3 hours ago, Burns said:

Nothing there. ?

Hmmmm

1 hour ago, Displaced Texan said:

I need one of those in an Orange tabby.