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Daily humor thread

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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President Biden walks into a local bank in Wilmington, Delaware to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"


 Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"


Biden: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Joe Biden, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"
 Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."


 Biden: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am, and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."


Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules, and I must follow them."


Biden: "I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Jill for Valentine’s Day."


Cashier: "Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.”


“Another time, Roger Federer came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.


So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"


Biden stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, I regret my mind is a total blank... there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.” 

 

Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President? 

31 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

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Capt. Kangaroo. 
 

He wasn’t full of shit, either. 

13 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

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So...

"In town it's the law; out here it's zir."

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