Now, I should preface this by saying that I'm not a legal expert. However, I have figured out several methods that YOU, the NJ resident can use to defend yourself. Best of all they're all legal*!

 

*(Claims of legality may not, in fact be true, depending on the judge, police, etc. If there is a potential legal issue with any of the above which the Great State of NJ may bring to bear upon you, an * will be provided with an annotation.)

 

Method 1) Run/hide- Now this may come as a surprise to many, but turning tail and running is a VERY good method of self defense. Since criminals using handguns can only have 15 round magazines in their handguns, we know that they will likely miss you if you run, duck, weave, etc. If you are with your family, this method is even more effective. You see, if a criminal is intent on killing someone, and you and the rest of your family run away, they will likely only catch the slowest, weakest one. As it is with nature, and natural selection, this just means only the best of your genes will be passed on to the next generation, and added bonus! As you can tell, the running method is, perhaps, the best.

 

Method 2) Mediation! Many of us have likely been in fights in school, and we remember what happened, right? Older folks may remember getting punished, whereas people of my generation will likely remember peer mediation. We need look no further than the United Nations, whose methods of mediation have stopped many a dictator from genocide, and opression. When some disadvantaged criminal points a weapon at you, try and talk to him about what's wrong. He may just need a friend, and is acting in a negative manner for attention. Ask him what's wrong, and how you can help, offer to give them your nicest clothes, and let them borrow your car, so they can get a job! But remember, human contact is very important, so be sure to look them in the eye, and perhaps give them a big ol' hug!*

 

*(Hug may lead to charges of sexual assault.)

 

Method 3) Pray! In the event that you are unable to run away*; and Mediation doesn't work ( I don't see why it wouldn't...) you can always get down on your knees and pray to God(Allah, Buddha, Odin,L. Ron Hubbard, Zeus, Obama, etc.) that he/she/they can help you. What will then happen is that a non-violent angel will come down, and destroy all the evil weapons in this world, and criminals will no longer ever have them, or know how to use them. Ever. However, this method should ONLY be used in one's own home, or any non-public place.**

 

* (Such as in a building four stories or higher, otherwise you should still be able to get away, by evacuating a window. Sure you may break your legs, but you can still crawl away from the assailant)

**(Though not necessarilly a legal issue, this method may lead to trouble with the ACLU, or otherwise upset the assailant, as they might not have the same beliefs as you. In fact, you may not want to use this method, as it could hurt the feelings of another person, which is far worse than a bullet hole. After all, injuries heal, but words can sting for a lifetime :'( )

 

I hope I have not missed any methods that you, the citizen of the people's State of NJ can do to defend life and limb from the dangerous, and often misunderstood criminal element!

That's pretty funny. Sad part is this is probably how our state legislators think!

I thought Pray meant..............pray for a NJ Lawyer to show up and sue the bastage on the spot.

Method 1: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge.

Method 1: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge.

 

If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a carjacker

Since criminals using handguns can only have 10 15 round magazines in their handguns

 

Corrected it for you. Did you find this on a NY, CA, or MA forum where 10 rounds is the legal hand gun limit?

Corrected it for you. Did you find this on a NY, CA, or MA forum where 10 rounds is the legal hand gun limit?

 

No, I wrote it myself in between classes. I forgot what the limit was, I thought NJ had the 10 round limit. Guess I was wrong.

 

I'm only 20, and not that into handguns, so I don't know those laws that well, I mean, there really isn't a point for me to know which pistols, or features are illegal when I can't even own a handgun for another year anyway.

Or you could try this: www.targetfocustraining.com

I don't mean to sound like a shill for them, but I've watched their videos and taken their training, as I mentioned in another thread; and I think it may be our best hope for SD in NJ.

What about this, looks like Newark

... I've watched their videos and taken their training, as I mentioned in another thread; and I think it may be our best hope for SD in NJ.

 

Not to burst a bubble but if you believe a 2 day course is the answer, I hope the rude awakening never arrives.

 

I briefly looked at their website and all videos posted are talkey talkey,, none with a demonstration of their super survival techniques.

 

You want to learn guns, go practice with them and do courses related to their effective use

 

You want to learn self defence same applies, do training regularily and attend classes in how to use it effectively..

Pete, your point is well taken, and I cannot disagree with you. TFT will tell you right up front that what they teach will not necessarily vanquish any foe; it's more to give one a fighting chance against a sociopath bent on violence. I'm not interested enough in martial arts to spend hours a week training in a gym for something that is unlikely to happen; plus, I'm reluctant to risk injury to my ancient joints and bones. So I believe this to be an effective compromise. But even saying that, I plan to do some additional training with these people, especially since they meet quite close to where I live.

You forgot "Crap and vomit yourself in the hopes that they become horrified and leave you alone."

 

*Note: This has actually been suggested as a serious method of defense against rapists before.

You forgot "Crap and vomit yourself in the hopes that they become horrified and leave you alone."

 

*Note: This has actually been suggested as a serious method of defense against rapists before.

 

Who the hell suggested that? Still a loose loose situation for the victim. Either be violated or embarrass the hell out of themselves. Not good choices.

I could see it being a deterrent for a possible rape situation. But any other situation you'll get car jacked and laughed at.

Thought that was the solution for not getting a Bill passed in the NJ Legislature...............

Hilarious. Thank you sir

The scary part is NJ politicians would use this as a pamphlet for why guns are not need in NJ!

The scary part is NJ politicians would use this as a pamphlet for why guns are not need in NJ!

 

Didn't think of that when I wrote it. I meant it as a parody, but then again this IS NJ we're talking about XD.