So I bit the  bullet and had a water softener installed. The installer stated that he tested my water, and that the reading was 9 grains per gallon. It seemed low to me based on the test kit I used, but I figured he's the pro. Almost a week later the water still feels hard, but slightly better than prior to installation. 

I'm in Long Valley, so if anyone uses a higher setting please fill me in. If you can recommend an inexpensive but accurate hardness tester I'd greatly appreciate that as well. 

I had a similar problem so I drew a sample with the softener in line and found the water still leaning to the hard side. So I upped the setting went a few days and tested it again, keep doing this till the water finally tested low and felt soft.  I do use two whole house filters before the softener, one poly for sediment and one carbon for clean water iron as I am on a well.  Helps lengthen the softener cycle. I use only 'rust buster' type salt.  The refined salt (formed white pellets) is better that the standard softener salt, less insolubles in the brine tank,