Little Johnny... Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

 

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

 

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

 

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

 

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

 

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

A man walks into his home carrying a duck under his arm. He walks toward his wife who is sitting on the couch watching TV.

 

The man says "This is the pig I've been f*ckin'."

 

The wife looks up at him and says "That's not a pig, that's a duck."

 

The man responds: "Wasn't talking to you."

Little Johnny... Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

 

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

 

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

 

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

 

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

 

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

I love the little Johnny jokes.. just so wrong

A jew and a chineese man are walking down the street.

The jew stops and punches the chinesse man in the mouth.

The chinesse man was what was that for. The jew replies PEARL HARBOR!

Pearl Harbor was the japanese I am chineese them man told him.

The jew responds japanese chineese what is the differance.

So they continue to walk when the chineese man stops and punches the jew in the mouth.

The jew asks now what was that for? The chineese man responds THE TITANIC!

Then Titanic that was an iceberg the jew says.

The chineese man answers iceberg greenberg whats the differance!

Okay, my turn.

 

Disclaimer:

As a Jew, I believe that I'm allowed to tell Jewish jokes without being yelled at for my ethnic insensitivity.

 

2 friends, a Jew and an Italian are walking down the street. Coming towards them is a gorgeous woman... tall, long legs, stunningly perfect "physical features", and the face of an angel. She's wearing a short dress with a plunging neckline that shows off her legs and other important attributes.

 

She's walking towards them, they're walking towards her and they pass in the street. The Italian turns around for a few seconds to watch her walk away, the turns to his friend and says "Man, did you see that? I would love to f#@k her."

 

The Jew replies "Really, out of what?"

 

K

Okay, my turn.

 

Disclaimer:

As a Jew, I believe that I'm allowed to tell Jewish jokes without being yelled at for my ethnic insensitivity.

 

2 friends, a Jew and an Italian are walking down the street. Coming towards them is a gorgeous woman... tall, long legs, stunningly perfect "physical features", and the face of an angel. She's wearing a short dress with a plunging neckline that shows off her legs and other important attributes.

 

She's walking towards them, they're walking towards her and they pass in the street. The Italian turns around for a few seconds to watch her walk away, the turns to his friend and says "Man, did you see that? I would love to f#@k her."

 

The Jew replies "Really, out of what?"

 

K

 

A jew and a arab are riding in a train in India. A fly land in the jew man shoulder, the arab grab the fly and eat it, minutes later the same thing happens, then another fly land in the arab man and the jew grab the fly and said to the arab man, how much you pay for it

The Jew replies "Really, out of what?"

 

K

I didn't see that coming at all

The Jew replies "Really, out of what?"

 

K

:lol: I didn't see that coming at all

 

My Polish side had to read it a few times.

Ken, you are part of the clan?

 

and wow... great one.

Ken, you are part of the clan?

LANSMAN!!!

 

K

I stayed at a hotel last night and I told the woman behind the counter "I hope the porn channle is disabled." She said no it is regular porn you sick F**K!

I stayed at a hotel last night and I told the woman behind the counter "I hope the porn channle is disabled." She said no it is regular porn you sick F**K!

Simple and funny

I stayed at a hotel last night and I told the woman behind the counter "I hope the porn channle is disabled." She said no it is regular porn you sick F**K!