Handyman

To hell with function. A Beretta is a sexy piece. A Glock looks like an East German librarian.

Great. Another mixed-race LEO shooting. We know where this is headed. Good thing there were cameras.

I leased once and drove it like it was stolen. Yeee haaaa!

In a lib town like Princeton? Have fun in jail for "inciting a panic" or the famous "disorderly persons offence" or something like that.

Do you have another vehicle? Use those tags for the trip.

Who knew Camden was such a tax haven? When can I move in?

It's the law of multiplicative stupidity. You can drive around with a body in the trunk if you want. Just don't drive around with a body in the trunk plus a burned out taillight, speeding with an expired inspection sticker and tinted windows.

Don't worry about the dollars spent debating. Worry about the dollars they will spend housing someone for two weeks in the county lockup at our expense for talking on the phone. Nanny state.

In a free society, pretty much anything is legal as long as no one complains. Too bad we don't live in a free society.

Blast away. If it is loud and the fuzz shows up, tell them you are using a hilte gun in the basement and its nobody's business. And don't shoot your eye out.

Indeed we do.

Due to the lack of fireworks, I am guessing the homeowner was the same race as the perp. As was said above, we need to create the impression that thievery is associated with a tremendous risk of death. Thieves will find another way to make a living, probably by going into politics.

They were probably more upset about losing the TV.

I used to hit them plenty far enough into the woods without needing any help.

Answer yes. When they contact you for more info give them a list of 200 things like proctalgia fugax, tinea pedis, rhinovirus, etc. It will give them something to do looking it all up.

Do they both penetrate to the exterior of the building? Sounds like someone didn't like the location and moved it around.

Particularly if you like your weather colder than a witch's undercarriage.

Please. "Troll" implies at least some baseline level of sophistication. "Chew toy" might be more germane.

Only reason for a guy his age to be taking blue pills is so he doesn't accidentally roll out of bed at night.

That's all you've got? You remind me of a Billy Bob character I saw once.

If you want to have a conversation with me tough guy, you'd better walk it over to the 1st Amendment Lounge. I don't have any "Warning Points" to spare. God bless you.

Did it in Boy Scouts once. At today's prices, you're about to spend $50 on fuel to produce a product you can get at Costco for $12.

Exactly. Anyone he appoints will have no brain. Just like everyone he has appointed to date. His sole selection criteria will be finding a dubiously qualified, ranting liberal, minority candidate. Maybe if we can stall until Hillary gets elected she could appoint Slick Willie.

You think Arthur is a dude? Interesting. I always thought the avatar was a self-portraint.

That might not do it. Try some penetrating oil. Get ready to wire brush the heck out of the clamp...