I laughed pretty hard at this one. Sorry Navy guys.

I added this one to make up for it.

LOL! That's just wrong, man! I was Navy, and the Navy vs. Marine (Squids vs. Jarheads) jokes were always funny... Here's some more:

 

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There was a Navy officer and a Marine officer using the bathroom. Both of them were using the urinals, and the Navy officer finished first. He zipped up and turned around the leave without washing his hands.

 

The Marine watched him over his shoulder and said to the Navy officer on his way out "In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom."

 

In response, the Navy officer replied "In the Navy, they taught us not to piss on ourselves!"

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Why does the navy allow marines on their ships? Sheep would be to obvious.

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NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself

MARINE: Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential

ARMY: Ain't Really Marines Yet

 

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I could go on and on... All jokes are always in good fun. One of my best friends was Marine Recon, and we bust each others chops constantly All branches of the service have the utmost of respect for each other, but just like to bust on each other a little bit.

Chris, the first was your best post ever.

Why was a Marine rating BJ's from a Sailor? That is gayer then a glory hole in Panama. If they are talking about Navy wives, then that is a different story.

 

This is coming a puddle pirate. And yes, I am over 6' tall so if our cutter sunk I could walk home...Semper Paratus, FTW!

 

The two groups that didn't have a sense of humor about their branch...sub-mariners and those Air Fart guys.

I always loved the one about the submariners.

 

"100 men go down, 50 couple come back up."

The two groups that didn't have a sense of humor about their branch...sub-mariners and those Air Fart guys.

 

Yeah, AF Pilots especially... LOL. Here's some good ones:

 

Q: How do you know if there is an Air Force pilot at your party?

A: He'll tell you.

 

Q: What's the difference between an Air Force pilot and a jet engine?

A: A jet engine stops whining when the planes shuts down.

 

Q: How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

just remember, you cant spell SCUM without USMC..... All good fun, in my opinion you must have served to call someone jar-head, squid, ect...... You have to earn the ability to mock other services.

I always loved the one about the submariners.

 

"100 men go down, 50 couple come back up."

 

It's not gay if it's underway!

 

DIVE! DIVE!

 

Former Bubblehead here.......

Lol my brother-in-law is an AF Pilot.

All vets respect all of our brothers in arms. But we all love to bust chops.

 

The Marines say, "oorah"

 

The Army says, "hooah'

 

The Air Force says, "Soy latte please"

 

 

just remember, you cant spell SCUM without USMC..... All good fun, in my opinion you must have served to call someone jar-head, squid, ect...... You have to earn the ability to mock other services.

This coming from a guy who thought wearing bell bottoms was a good idea. And turning Snoopy's food bowl over and wearing it as a hat seems normal.

 

Hell, in the Navy it takes 3 ranks to become a full fledged Sperm, I mean Seaman.

lol

Tony, l loved the pile-it jokes. When I turned civilian I continued turning wrenches on helicopters for a couple of years while going back to school. I was merciless on the pile-its that wrote stupid crap up.Especially if they were clueless. I was a stan-board member and I could be pretty demanding at times.

 

Being a former USCG aviator, on the hangar line we had a status board. It had different columns and titles running along the top that had title blocks and vertically were lines for each flight. One for the mission type, departure time,A/C #, gallons of fuel needed, air crew and the best was the PILE-IT column. Man they hated seeing that.

 

To really bust balls, I used to carry a Magic 8-Ball, you know the ones you shake while asking a question and look for answer. Well, I used to call it my maintenance manual and would defer to it if I knew a pile-it was watching me or listening. I went so far as to have it engraved with a serial number and ID placard that contained a calibration date and it was entered into our PMS system as a precision instrument. I continued the practice when I went civilian as well. On the civvie side, we had a couple of former jarhead aviators, a few Army pukes and a pair of Coasties made the company a lot of fun. You would have sworn we were still active duty by the way we acted.

All good fun, in my opinion you must have served to call someone jar-head, squid, ect...... You have to earn the ability to mock other services.

I agree with this 100%. Don't get me wrong, the jokes are funny.....but having never served, I just don't feel like it would be appropriate if I ever passed these jokes on. I have the highest level of respect for our service men.

An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career.

 

"I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.

 

"As a sergeant, I fought in Korea. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire.

 

"Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razorgrass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets!"

 

"Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand. "All shore duty, huh?"

 

 

God Bless all of our service members.

Let's not forget that technically the Marine Corps is a department of the U.S. Navy....(wait for it)....The Men's Department!

having never served I also feel as if I can not particpate... but I certainly do like stirring the pot to a simmer somedays. I work with 2 Marines, 3 AF, 3 CG, 4 USN, 6 USA and 1 IDF. Sometimes is it is fun to toss a comment in, always with a "Hey... X says that the AirFarce...." or something like that. Then sit back and listen. Sometimes it makes the day go by so much faster.

Tony, l loved the pile-it jokes. When I turned civilian I continued turning wrenches on helicopters for a couple of years while going back to school. I was merciless on the pile-its that wrote stupid crap up.Especially if they were clueless. I was a stan-board member and I could be pretty demanding at times.

 

Being a former USCG aviator, on the hangar line we had a status board. It had different columns and titles running along the top that had title blocks and vertically were lines for each flight. One for the mission type, departure time,A/C #, gallons of fuel needed, air crew and the best was the PILE-IT column. Man they hated seeing that.

 

To really bust balls, I used to carry a Magic 8-Ball, you know the ones you shake while asking a question and look for answer. Well, I used to call it my maintenance manual and would defer to it if I knew a pile-it was watching me or listening. I went so far as to have it engraved with a serial number and ID placard that contained a calibration date and it was entered into our PMS system as a precision instrument. I continued the practice when I went civilian as well. On the civvie side, we had a couple of former jarhead aviators, a few Army pukes and a pair of Coasties made the company a lot of fun. You would have sworn we were still active duty by the way we acted.

 

LOL, funny stuff! Pile-It... LOL!!! Yeah, busting balls is a favorite past-time of active duty and inactive service members... Always in good fun. A guy I worked with for years, is a full bird Colonel in the Marines... man, did we have a blast at work. Always busting on each other.

As a fresh water sailor we Coasties seemed to be on the bottem of the "cool list". Ugly boats, no guns, and never mentioned as part of the armed forces. But hey, while the Navy was doing their 6 month deployments, I was getting plastered, inked up, and making a fool of myself on the Government's dime in third world countries! Man if I could go back in time to Mexico, I would've married that girl.

Ha, well, Coasties technically aren't a part of the cool club (DOD), just when the squids need some extra hands on deck!

With that said, I give the CG the respect they deserve. Whenever we needed to do a food run on our graveyard shifts, they would always be the first to volunteer; plus those Coastie female types I worked with were probably the only ones that made their respective dress uniform look any good (lets not kid ourselves, the zoomies might have had the best looking, but their uniforms weren't too flattering).

 

As for the Corps, I had a Captain and a Gunny I worked with, and I swear they both could shoot lasers out of their eyes, so, I kept my mouth shut.

Chris,

 

that started my day off right.

 

thanks.

While I have never served in the Armed Forces, I have worked with many former service members. I learned very quickly their limits and what they would and would not take from each other. As the civilian it was extremely interesting to be in a room full of former service members. I used to think mixing cops and firefighters was bad....that was a cake walk compared to the ball busting that goes on between service members.

Ha, well, Coasties technically aren't a part of the cool club (DOD), just when the squids need some extra hands on deck!

With that said, I give the CG the respect they deserve. Whenever we needed to do a food run on our graveyard shifts, they would always be the first to volunteer; (Naturally) plus those Coastie female types I worked with were probably the only ones that made their respective dress uniform look any good (lets not kid ourselves, the zoomies might have had the best looking, but their uniforms weren't too flattering). LMAO....agreed. But then again, when the uniform is on the floor and the lights are out...it doesn't matter.

 

 

You are so right. Back in 1984, we were the only ones issued weapons AND ammo during the Reagan Doctrine when we were patrolling in Central America. Because we were DOT at the time, we were allowed to return fire without asking Washington DC, imagine that! Part of the reason I didn't join the Misguided Children was even after the barracks bombing, the US still didn't issue ammo to the Marines and Army guys on guard. WTF? Being a guy from NJ with our infamous attitude, there was no way you were going to send me into a fight without ammo. No way was I going to become a human sand bag for some Army puke to hide behind in a fire fight.

 

FWIW, I enlisted less then two months after losing all those Marines. If I had a dollar every time I was told in basic or at any of my duty stations, that I should have been a Marine I'd would have had a nice chunk of change. My uncle USMC Vietnam 65-67 and a fraternity brother career MC officer, (was full bird and now probably a one star) actually talked me out of the MC and into the CG. They both figured I was already such a nut and a hell raiser, the suck would have only made me worse. The CG had no idea what to do with me. I specialized in the 3 F's...fighting, phucking and having fun. I'm still asked if I was a Marine. Friends that were Force Recon and other jar-heads still tell me I went into the wrong service. I think that's a compliment.

An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career.

 

"I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.

 

"As a sergeant, I fought in Korea. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire.

 

"Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razorgrass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets!"

 

"Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand. "All shore duty, huh?"

 

 

God Bless all of our service members.

Yeh, I always wondered why they call them Marines, but being Navy Air and spending only about 5 days on the water on a troop transport and 5 months in Hawaii which was considered sea duty at the time, I probably can't say too much! The rest of my service was stateside.

Wojo, the stories I could tell! I'm sure mine are just like yours. Things don't change huh

I currently serve in the Air Force, and am an aircrew member. And all I can say, those jokes about AF pilots...are true! Haha. Certainly not all are like that, but there definitely are some, and as the joke goes, he will tell you!

 

About the first post, and the letter, funny story actually. When I was deployed we got a bunch of letters from kids. We got one, while certainly tamer then that, was along the same lines as that. I wish I could remember exactly what it said. We had it hanging up in the squadron for most of the deployment.

 

The other branches can make fun of us all they want. It is all in good fun (usually), but I usually get the last laugh when we go some place, and they get stuck in tents unable to drink, and I get to go off base to my nice hotel with the open bar and full rate per diem!

Ray Ray somewhere off the coast of Mexico

 

Just Jokin Brother!

 

 

Coasties get respect from me since 9/11 , I never really knew what those dudes did prior... but everytime I head into the city I see Coastie RHIB's with 240's on the back of em' securing the harbor... Or they're running Drug Interdiction ops in Fla Disabling fast movers using MK82's fired from helos. Personally I think they're pretty HSLD at this point. They get to do their jobs everyday , I was in the Corps for 4 years practicing & training to do my job , but never got to do it. Just my .02

 

BTW While the CG was DOT under peace times, during wars they got swapped to DOD , they're now umbrella'd by Homeland.

 

This is some good stuff here, reminded of me of when I was in and when I get together with my Military Jeepers fa

mily. The stone breaking is all part of the brotherhood whether you are a grunt, wind dummy (airborne), squid, Jarhead, puddle jumper or Chair Farce.

One other thing is to rest assure upon, if any outsider were to try to tread/insult to a mean full matter there would be hell to pay. Thick n thin we stick together

The best I saw period was when I was TAD in Oceana Virgina. I worked in a secure area and we had full security. One of our security guys was built like a shaved guerrilla. The guy was absolutely huge, and never said a word. We had a inspection of my shop performed by some marines one day. One of the marines made a comment about "squids" and this security guy went ape shiat. He said to the marines " you know devil dog you can call me staff sargeant if you want. Only 6 months ago I was marine force recon on the front lines. I was wounded and my contract was up so I decided to switch over to a comfy job with the NAVY." He then ripped off his t-shirt, literally ripped it off, and tattooed on his chest was a huge EGA. I just sat there laughing my butt off. He ripped them for almost a half an hr, and I loved every minute of it.