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A modest proposal-apply every new gun law to golf

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Let's treat the favorite pastime of our well-heeled legislators the same way they treat ours.

Let's see- You will need a permit from your local PD everytime you want to buy a new golf club-and of couse two references. Don't forget the initial fingerprinting and mental health checks. That takes weeks, or months. You will be limited to one golf game a month (OGGAM) and of course before you can tee up you need an "instant" background check that takes a week. Don't worry, the golf club will call you when the background check comes through.

Oh, and the newspaper will print the names and addresses of every person who owns nice equipment.

This is brilliant! Don't forget limiting certain "Evil Features" on equipment... and some clubs well they are just banned because of name or the way they look!

 

I would love to copy this to facebook!

Excellent. Sounds very similar to the one I wrote in another thread:

 

Alcohol and drunk driving are a much more serious problem in NJ than legal guns. We should probably ban all sales of alcohol to anyone with a driver's license. Those people without licenses shall be allowed to purchase one bottle of wine 750ml or smaller each month or one six pack of beer with containers no more than 12 oz each month. There should be no sales allowed of any alcohol with a concentration over 15%, no exceptions as these high capacity beverages cause more harm. Anyone allowing a licensed driver to consume alcohol will be guilty of a crime punishable by up to one year in jail. Yes the above makes more sense than most proposed new gun restrictions if we are really just trying to save lives.

You can't carry more a than 10 balls at a time. To continue with an 18 hole game you must go to the front desk and fill out the proper paperwork, which could take up to three days.

Along the lines of "When the founding fathers wrote the 2nd Amendment, they had muskets in mind"; why do you need giant oversized titanium drivers? When the game was invented, they used small wood drivers.

  • Author

Thanks for the good words, and to a certain extent I am actually serious. This is a class issue as well. A lot of us who enjoy shooting and firearms are working people. The politicians wouldn't dare touch the "lifestyle" sports. In my area, there at least two golf clubs that are well known to be "restricted" -imagine the screams of protest if the government demanded that the members had to comply with new laws to admit access to everyone. I bet we would hear a lot about "rights".

Lest we forget: Tiger Woods was almost killed with one of these Assault Clubs!

If you have seen me play golf, you'd know I'm a lot more dangerous at the driving range than the rifle range. I usually suggest that people who play with me wear a helmet.

The club can be no longer than 16 inches.

 

The head of the club must be made of a soft material so you don't endanger those around you when you swing.

 

You can not purchase golf balls from the Internet.

 

 

 

No metal clubs, because the golfing founders couldn't have conceived of the tyupe of technology available to the golfer in this day and age and thus it clearly wasn't the intent of them to have it available ins a civilized game of golf.

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