A father watched his young daughter as she played in the garden. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she stopped and stared at the ground. The father went over to her to see what had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" she asked.

"They’re mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?"

"That’s a Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" she asked.

The father's heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question. He laughed, and then replied, "No sweetheart. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped the spiders flat. "Well, we’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden.

^^^^ that was sooo bad!

LMFAO

 

 

Guy goes to the Doctor.........

Doc: How can I help you.

Patient: Well ya see I was born with five penises.

Doc: Five !

Patient: Yup.

Doc: How do your pants feel ?

Patient: They fit like a glove...........

The pasta bowl was my own creation. Sitting at a restaurant in jackson hole Wyoming.  I got bored waiting for the check.  

30 minutes ago, Golf battery said:

 

 

Double takes!

Still valid today.

Saw this one on Reddit.

A priest and a Rabbi are very good friends, so they decide to go to a remote lake for a swim.

Of course they're swimming naked as you do. All of a sudden, two busses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbis congregation and out of the other pours the priests congregation. Their clothes are on the other side of the lake so they don't have time to retrieve them, they just have to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his genitals looks over at the rabbi and sees him running with his hands over his face. He says, "rabbi! What are you doing!" The rabbi says, "in my community, they recognise me by my face."

2017-03-31-VIDEO-000001671.mp4

1 hour ago, High Exposure said:

Now that's funny.

2 hours ago, High Exposure said:

I sent this to my dad.......he does not have an AR. 

From friends at TheRightReasons.net

 

 

Online Dating.

 

Social Media Stalking

 

<div style="background-color:#000000;width:520px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="//media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:comedycentral.com:588875b9-4fed-4a1b-a173-0f0924ca3085" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div></div>

Never mind!

4 minutes ago, njJoniGuy said:

<div style="background-color:#000000;width:520px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="//media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:comedycentral.com:588875b9-4fed-4a1b-a173-0f0924ca3085" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div></div>

Never mind!

Sorry bud, that is html embed code which unfortunately is a huge red flag. =)  Just put in a link for it here instead. =)

Resetting password-

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

USER: 50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

USER: 50DAMNEDboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYo urAssIfYouDon' tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:  ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCab bagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS:  Sorry, that password is already in use

 

Bb