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Daily humor thread

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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1 hour ago, silverado427 said:

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Or at an Antifa/Black Lives Matter rally.

this just in

Sources in California say radical Muslims are planning to kill every U.S. citizen in Los Angeles.
 
Police officials fear the death 

toll could be as high as 9.

3 minutes ago, Golf battery said:

 

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Not vaild in the PRNJ.

CCSB card?  (Concealed carry of a Snickers bar.)

Youll get thrown out for the snickers bar.  For the pistol.   Mehh.  Not so much.  Odd thing i found out.  In trenton    There is no law against firearm discharge.   But in hopewell there is.  Was told that by a higher up in ewing pd.  Ramsey should open up in tre ton.  

  • 3 weeks later...

^^^ this is what happens when wife finds “ ammo sale”...

Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on Mars?

Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.

22 hours ago, PK90 said:

Funny, but, here in AZ, we don't observe DST, but the Indian Reservations do.

Do you know why?

1 hour ago, PK90 said:

No, why?

Sent from an undisclosed location via Tapatalk
 

To keep those checks coming in, basically.

Insane policies require insane reactions.

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.

Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.

I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel.

Everyone moves out of the way, and security can't pat me down.

If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feelinglike a woman today.

Hot Damn...Safe at last!! ~ God Bless America

 

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