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Daily humor thread

Maksim
in General Discussion

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Claymation humor I’m finding to be elusive 

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    • Handyman
      Handyman

      Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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      High Exposure

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    Wow... I'm younger than I thought? I don't get it either.

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    8869b464d10c872572beeca9d33e4bea.png.cf.old timers will get it.... maybe 

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    That’s better.

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    • Haha 1

    Modern Medical Miracles

    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

    "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
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    • Haha 2
    3 hours ago, oldguysrule649 said:

    *** TRUMP WANTS TO BUY GREENLAND ***

    https://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump-may-want-to-buy-greenland-and-the-internet-says-wait-what-2019-08-15?siteid=yhoof2&yptr=yahoo

    Read the Twitter feed that is in this article.  It is hilarious!

    Wouldn't surprise me if The Donald wanted to buy Greenland PERSONALLY, not as a U.S. purchase of territory, as Alaska was.

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    12 hours ago, njJoniGuy said:

    Wouldn't surprise me if The Donald wanted to buy Greenland PERSONALLY, not as a U.S. purchase of territory, as Alaska was.

    How about the Trump Glacier Hotel on the exciting shores of Disco Bay?

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    2 hours ago, 45Doll said:

    I just thought this story was funny.

    Invite me over for sex. I'm your 'side chick'.

    That's all I'll say.

    Somebody was dickmitized.

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    The heat of passion....

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    • Haha 1
    1 minute ago, CMJeepster said:

    Burning love.

    Ring of Fire 

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    3 hours ago, Mrs. Peel said:

    Hey, she let him off easy as far as I'm concerned!  :rofl: 

    You know that it would be untrue

    You know that I would be a liar

    If I was to say to you

    Girl, we couldn't get much higher

    Come on baby, light my fire

    Try to set the night on fire

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    Old timers won’t get this

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    • Haha 1
    9 minutes ago, Zeke said:

    Old timers won’t get this

    Don't stick it crazy.I speak from experience.

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    • Haha 1
    14 minutes ago, Zeke said:

    Old timers won’t get this

    Hey I resemble that remark!

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    • Informative 1

    Why Trump broke Elton John's attendance record in NH. Here he is singing "Hold Me Closer Stormy Daniels"

    ECEvAePUYAExC-l.jpg

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    • Haha 1
    1 hour ago, 45Doll said:

    Why Trump broke Elton John's attendance record in NH. Here he is singing "Hold Me Closer Stormy Daniels"

    ECEvAePUYAExC-l.jpg

    That’s not why

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    • Like 1
    2 minutes ago, Zeke said:

    That’s not why

    What's the matter Z? No laughing on the Sabbath?

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    1 minute ago, 45Doll said:

    What's the matter Z? No laughing on the Sabbath?

    Don’t mess with my Trump!

    :)

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