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Daily humor thread

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I'm too old and I don't care enough to learn a new name. Tappan Zee it is for me.

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

  • High Exposure
    High Exposure

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Posted Images

Three pics I got for cat and dog fans:

Hand In Dog.jpg

 

 

Dog Warns On Cat.jpg

 

 

Last Cat Built.jpg

14 hours ago, njJoniGuy said:

I'll have mine EXTRA CRISPY

Image result for flamethrower gif

 

That's hot.

Two Arabs boarded a flight from Washington to New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.

Just before take-off a little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”

“No problem,” said the Israeli, “Stay there, I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it.

When the Israeli returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.”

Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he was gone the Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it too.

The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.

As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

“Acchh, how long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…this spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?”

A new coin has been minted:

mail?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpatriot.imgix.net%2F899f6bf75110e327fbcf4dd6e22fa0fa4087db2f8ffac3bc4fad9ccaf51d8c25.jpg%3Fw%3D1200&t=1568053719&ymreqid=077145a5-b455-b083-1c02-3b0000019300&sig=6a0oROdqI2azuQ_mADYrUg--~C

 

The upside-down world we live in:

mail?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpatriot.imgix.net%2F0bd5af2e57a4f28505e57123d54c3443d535dd5dbf45fbd009a752c93ebf9e0d.jpg%3Fw%3D1200&t=1568053719&ymreqid=077145a5-b455-b083-1c02-3b0000019300&sig=3SMhfPCj1Q4gH94fagXDnw--~C

16 minutes ago, Handyman said:

Sweet mother. Is that a hammer and sickle flag in the back?

Yep.  Behind a few dozen protesters who have never swung a hammer and who don’t have the foggiest idea of what a sickle is for. 

17 minutes ago, Handyman said:

Sweet mother. Is that a hammer and sickle flag in the back?

Well, there you have it folks.  They have a uniform, they are using tactical gear (yes, goggles and respirators are tactical gear, they usually have some sort of item to use as a weapon, ) and they even have a flag.  I'd say it's pretty clear.  They are an assault squad.  A poorly trained team, but a team none the less, they are an organized and becoming more and more militarized as time goes on.

I would like to know why the basement dwellers hide their faces.

10 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

I would like to know why the basement dwellers hide their faces.

Because they are afraid to be arrested sent to prison and treated like a farm animal. Which is a fitting punishment.

6 minutes ago, Handyman said:

Someone quick. please put some humor back in this thread. 

A Democrat, an Antifa and a socialist walked into a bar......

8 minutes ago, BobA said:

A Democrat, an Antifa and a socialist walked into a bar......

So, just the one guy, drinking alone?

Why shouldn't Democrats worry about losing the elections?

Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare 

 

17 hours ago, Bklynracer said:

Why shouldn't Democrats worry about losing the elections?

Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare 

 

Apparently mental illness isn't, according to this wife of a dem Rep.

https://www.theblaze.com/news/dems-wife-slams-obamacare-in-instagram-video?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Daily-Newsletter__AM-Final 2019-09-10&utm_term=TheBlaze Daily AM - last 270 days

Amanda Cunningham, the wife of Rep. Joe Cunningham (D-S.C.), complained about the limitations of her government-subsidized healthcare program, one associated with former President Obama's landmark legislation.

"I've been going over my, this is a not-a-bill bill here from Blue Cross Blue Shield, and realizing that once again, all of my mental health therapy sessions are denied, in addition to all of our marriage counseling sessions," she explained.

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