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Daily humor thread

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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3 hours ago, 45Doll said:

 

Obviously progressive extremism and stupidity are inextricably linked too.

1 hour ago, silverado427 said:

Screen Shot 2022-12-11 at 4.10.20 PM.png

I tried this at home. Didn't work.

Here's the Ugly Sweater runner-up.

324254514_UglySweater.thumb.jpg.8a6c5eb2b732f626cd2c1167b838c5ad.jpg

20 hours ago, silverado427 said:

Screen Shot 2022-12-11 at 4.10.20 PM.png

...and I'm gonna spend $40...

 

10 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

 

DAE008CE-F9F0-408A-BA2E-1BC371884BA3.jpeg

It's all this guys fault.

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1 minute ago, Scorpio64 said:

It's all this guys fault.

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Ha!! 
 

I’ve been that guy before. 
 

Once, I fell asleep early one morning in a tree blind, to be startled awake by a raccoon knocking my rifle over. I don’t know who was more surprised, me or him. 
 

 

Today's Lesson Is The Word Irony

Once in a while we just have to stand back in awe of our government. 

 The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest number of free meals and food stamps ever - to 46 million people. 

 Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Dept. of Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." Their stated reason for the policy is because "the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves." 

 Thus, ends today's lesson on irony! 

20 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

 

Screen Shot 2022-12-15 at 4.59.39 PM.png

This guy is still a virgin and lives in his mothers basement.

Just sayen. 

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