Handyman

Can I filter it through my kidneys first?

In spite of what leftist imbeciles think about "gun show loopholes" and face to face sales, the paperwork is all the same.

Beer has been known to frig people up (aside from causing one to make out with ugly chicks). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5832394/

In an age of toilet paper shortages, beware the beer shizz.

Oofah indeed. I could use that to clean my rifle.

Filling out one in Dirty Jersey won't help the cause at all. If the population goes up enough it just means another democrat congressman.

Be careful - you might wear the safety knob off the end.

It will, and then NJ will set the opposite precedent, then it will go to the Supremes.

I don't know if you want to try that during an epidemic. It might turn into atomic colon blow. Have Immodium on hand

You're a hoe. Don't harsh my mellow.

I'd write this year off, let it grow a little bit, and nape it with Roundup. Multiple doses if needed. That will kill down to the roots so when you churn it, it won't all come back to life.

Zeke needed to cut down several trees on his property. He went to a chainsaw shop and asked about various chainsaws. The dealer told him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but save yourself the time and aggravation and get our top-of-the-line chainsaw. It can cut a hundred cords of wood a day.” So Zeke took the chainsaw home and began working on the trees. After cutting for several hours, he decided to quit, having only cut two cords of wood. The next morning he got up at 4 AM and cut until nightfall, but only managed to cut five cords. Convinced it was a bad saw, Zeke went back to the dealer who sold it to him. The dealer removed the chainsaw from its case and examined the unit. “It looks fine,” he remarked, and then proceeded to start the chainsaw. Zeke clapped his hands over his ears and shouted, “What the hell is that noise?”

What's it about?

Thanks Zeke, you are very kind. But alas, I'm not convinced I have the disposition.

If you wear a j-strap you can just throw it in the wash.

Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I am. I just experienced my first blow-job." Greenday responded. "That's great!" said the bartender. "I'll give you a fourth shot on the house." "Don't bother," said Greenday. "If the first three shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

Exactly. Peak oil is an old concept, from back in the days when there were only like 2 genders.

There's nothing to expose. This scumbag state has been a source of national ridicule due to graft, corruption, expense and stupidity for decades. It's no secret. People in this state know full well they are voting @$$holes into office. Not only do they not care, they do it enthusiastically.

I prefer to just sterilize the doorknob so as to not waste paper

You can buy them off the shelf at a lot of big chain pharmacies now for ~ $25. I got one at CVS a year or so ago and it is pretty accurate.

I never said Zeke was any good at math.

A young man named Zeke bought a horse from a farmer for $250.The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Zeke's house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’ Zeke replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’ Zeke said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’ The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?” Zeke said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead horse!’ Zeke said, ‘Sure I can. Just watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’ A month later, the farmer met up with Zeke and asked, ‘What happened with that dead horse?’ Zeke said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2495.’ The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’ Zeke said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.’ Zeke grew up and works now for the government.

Heavier oils will be ok. They survived for the last 100 million years. Not much volatile stuff to escape.

That's why you have to have two of them. You use one to pick up the other.