Handyman

This is basically a new germ that causes the common cold. A small percentage of people who catch it have an idiosyncratic reaction where they react poorly and die, probably based on some synergism between poor health and unlucky genetics. like with pretty much every other germ. Heck, this might not even be a new germ. The bat eaters might have brought it forth before when we were less hypervigilant.

Cats are ok. Skip the bats.

If we test asymptomatic people, that means testing everyone. With what frequency? Just because I'm negative today doesn't mean I'm negative tomorrow. If people feel like they have a cold or flu, they need to self-isolate at home with chicken soup. If they feel really sick, they should go to the hospital. The "worried well" with the sniffles are going to break the system, and those that walk into an ER with a cold will likely walk out with corona to boot. The only decision to be made is whether someone needs to be admitted. If you don't think you are that sick, avoid contact with the medical establishment. It will keep you healthier and save resources for those who need them.

If people maintain social distancing like they should anyway, testing is largely moot. There's an old axiom in medicine: don't do a test unless the result will potentially change your course of action. It doesn't matter that someone has the China flu. If someone is in respiratory faliure - from any cause - they need to be on a vent. If someone has a fever and a cough they need to isolated, tested or untested. The only benefit of wide-scale testing is we would like t find a s#!t-ton of people who had corona and didn't even know it. This would drive the apparent morbidity and mortality way down. Might get rid of some of the panic.

Betty Crockpot has been walking funny all month because of this.

Someone comes to my door I'm shooting through it like Uncle Joe said.

That's pretty much all they do in Heritage Guild.

TLDR

Nothing there in the list I miss yet.

If he starts getting a craving for bats, stay away. Every time someone gets a cold for the next three months they are going to freak out.

That's gonna stick...

I put that s#!t on everything!

Soon she'll be mad at you for not having 60 days!

Don't people always ask what they should bring to a party? Tell 'em TP.

I'd poke both that effing dog's eyes out for a start. It would go downhill from there.

Or China could adopt some modern-day sanitary practices related to food handling and we would possibly see 50% of viral illnesses around the world magically disappear.

That dog dies. On the spot. Whatever it takes.

We're all going to die. (But for some of us, it might not be for 40 or 50 years.)

Park it in Newark with the keys in it. Report it stolen. Problem solved.

That's a knockout punch right there. Stay down, Chelsea. Stay down. Check out the other replies. She is being torn a new anus.

AKA ugly-assed, swamp donkey structures.

That may be, but don’t you also consider yourself a centrist?

Someone should invent a tiny little guillotine for situations like this. Off come the twig and berries!

There's a special place in hell for architects that like to build flat roofed buildings.