///

 

///

 

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ..

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know JACK about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

//

 

LMFAO.

On 1/14/2019 at 7:59 PM, Ray Ray said:

Here is the sad thing with the above latina, she makes more than almost all of us here and has no idea what she is doing or what she is supporting.  Ignorance is bliss

But who is tapping her?

1 hour ago, rifleman said:

But who is tapping her?

I hate it its's not me. 

I bet she's doing Greenie with a strap-on

On 1/27/2019 at 9:09 PM, WP22 said:

I hate it its's not me. 

You never stick your dick in crazy.

15 minutes ago, PeteF said:

You never stick your dick in crazy.

On 1/27/2019 at 9:44 PM, njJoniGuy said:

I bet she's doing Greenie with a strap-on

 

1 hour ago, PeteF said:

You never stick your dick in crazy.

I'm a guy and all guys are pre programed to assess everything based on how feasible it is to stick a dick in it.

On 1/27/2019 at 9:44 PM, njJoniGuy said:

I bet she's doing Greenie with a strap-on

Pegging?

Ha! That made me laugh!!

Good one Silverado!

3 hours ago, FishNHard said:

Cough

X + 1 elsewhere, X + 3 for handguns in NJ, where we get our permits in batches to minimize the headaches caused by the unreasonable permitting process

VERY, VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.