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46 minutes ago, WP22 said:

It’s actually very sad.

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82-year-old Bodybuilder Beat up Burglar

 

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This is just a funny true story about a friend of mine in PA.

Both he and his wife were out of the house one day recently when both their cell phones went off. Their alarm company was reporting an alarm at their house and the PA state police were responding. Was there a break in of some sort?

No. As I heard at Friday night dinner, when my friend installed the alarm system he carefully tailored and timed the motion sensors and their Roomba vacuum so there wouldn't be a false trip. As it turns out there was just one problem.

While making its rounds the Roomba snagged on the Christmas tree blanket and started yanking on it, thereby shaking the whole tree and setting off the motion detectors.

The laugh came when he called the PASP to apologize for the false trip. The trooper who took the call said the whole barracks got a real laugh out of that, and it was a unique event in their false alarm history. And Merry Christmas!

 

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3 minutes ago, WP22 said:

Penetration guaranteed!

They look like high-capacity straws, designed for a Big Gulp.

Cross posted from Arfcom:

Perhaps the next river crossed by real Americans will be the James?

In an arfcom discussion about the hotness of Persian women:

On 1/3/2020 at 12:20 PM, WP22 said:

It should really say "For my next trick I'll fool you into thinking I know anything about the military and the proper way to use it". But he did get a medal at his fake military school for being neat.