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Daily humor thread

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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3 minutes ago, FXDX said:

Well, that will improve aim!

They had this in a jersey shore bar and there was minimal piss on the floor with a 98% accuracy!

 

Urinal Cake II.png

Then They did this in the nightclub area of Hamburg Germany

 

 

MY GREAT WEEKEND!

main-qimg-68e1f0d434399e754b5133d11ecd3acc-pjlq

A balding, white haired man from Sherman Oaks in California , walked into a jewelry store in

a local mall this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.

'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweler said.

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There was only $25 in your account.'

'I know, said the old man,

'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'

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23 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Dr. Rachel Devine is one of USA Today’s ‘women of the year’. 
 

I guess she worked her balls off for this 

https://www.pennlive.com/news/2022/03/dr-rachel-levine-named-among-women-of-the-year-by-usa-today.html

 

Devine? Is that a Texas-style cute-ism?

Whether it is or not, this is another demonstration on the U.S. media by and large being in on the whole gaslighting of the U.S. public.

15 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

Devine? Is that a Texas-style cute-ism?

Whether it is or not, this is another demonstration on the U.S. media by and large being in on the whole gaslighting of the U.S. public.

Nah, it was autocorrect. Nothing cute. 

Jessie Smollet has been released from jail while his appeal is in process.

Now THAT'S funny.

7 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

Jessie Smollet has been released from jail while his appeal is in process.

Now THAT'S funny.

Would any other criminal be treated that way? 

1 hour ago, Displaced Texan said:

Would any other criminal be treated that way? 

In democrat controlled cities.....Yes!  They are ALL treated that way!:mad:

4 hours ago, 45Doll said:

Jessie Smollet has been released from jail while his appeal is in process.

Now THAT'S funny.

All the Bubbas in the Cook County jail released a press statement that they were sad to see Jussie released.

They also said that with his talents, he was well qualified to be Vice President.

"Peace is that brief, glorious moment in history when everybody stands around, and smart people are reloading."

441973747_WhyGuns.thumb.jpg.ea3624c4bd9c42e9dc215f901af35c25.jpg

19 hours ago, Displaced Texan said:

Would any other criminal be treated that way? 

Not a TRUMP voter. 20 years hard labor for littering!!

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