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Daily humor thread

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  • Greenday sat down at the bar and told the bartender, 'I'll have three shots of whiskey, please." The bartender replied, "Three shots? Are you celebrating something?" "As a matter of fact, I

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no that was a lot of rifles I hate pics like that

Gunfire re-imagined

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This is the daily humor thread. You're supposed to make me laugh, not cry.

Any ideas where I can get that sign?

This made me laugh, no racist or anti-leo intentions just made me laugh.

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Good life lesson, always keep your rifle next to you.

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Someone call Chris Hanson

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Epicness

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As Chris Rock says, as a father you have one goal, keep your daughters off the pole!

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The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in ...with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

Now also available in the restrooms of the SCOTUS, Congress, and State Level Government facilities.

 

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You got that right !!!
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Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"

Defendant: "Yes, it's true."

Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?"

Defendant: "Because it wouldn't be true anymore."

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