So UPS delivered (yet another) amazon box for my wife. This time when she opened it she said “Oh, your Christmas Present”.  And left the partially open box on the table. Now she’s gone for the day. 

Just now, voyager9 said:

So UPS delivered (yet another) amazon box for my wife. This time when she opened it she said “Oh, your Christmas Present”.  And left the partially open box on the table. Now she’s gone for the day. 

Ah ha!!!! I like it!

answer: yes

Just now, Zeke said:

Ah ha!!!! I like it!

answer: yes

I’m a grown man and I feel like a 10 year old. This thing is calling to me..

the outside says “contains Lithium Ion batteries”... so I know it’s not clothes or a new tie. 

Resist the urge. You can do it. 

No he can’t...but he’s trying. Your wife planted this! I think it’s awesome.

Looks like somebody has a sense of humor! Classic mrsV9

So it’s about 4x12x18 and about 15lbs. According to my daughter’s mass spectrometer it contains no peanut butter or cooties. 

Back up charger cell for stuff! Or a drone or sumtin 

28 minutes ago, voyager9 said:

So it’s about 4x12x18 and about 15lbs. According to my daughter’s mass spectrometer it contains no peanut butter or cooties. 

15lbs. Hmm....Did the mass spectrometer say anything about rocks ?

2 minutes ago, jackandjill said:

15lbs. Hmm....Did the mass spectrometer say anything about rocks ?

Or coal?

2 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Or coal?

Battery powered coal is the most likely scenario. 

Just now, voyager9 said:

Battery powered coal is the most likely scenario. 

I was gonna guess peanut butter, but that got ruled out early 

1 minute ago, Zeke said:

I was gonna guess peanut butter, but that got ruled out early 

Given the size I was thinking vibrator but she said it was for me... which made me a little concerned. 

How about you sweep that metal detector over and see how loud it beeps. 

2 minutes ago, voyager9 said:

Given the size I was thinking vibrator but she said it was for me... which made me a little concerned. 

Don't be shy! But 15lb of LI powered could be rough. I hope you stocked up on gun lube from black friday deals. 

1 minute ago, voyager9 said:

Given the size I was thinking vibrator but she said it was for me... which made me a little concerned. 

Oh my...

 

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

1 minute ago, High Exposure said:

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

I’m at a loss for words now. Punching out

Just now, Zeke said:

I’m at a loss for words now. Punching out

Promise me that you will keep an open mind. 

3 minutes ago, Zeke said:

I’m at a loss for words now. Punching out

Is that limited to this thread or the whole forum?  Please be to the whole forum. 

Tis the season to be Mary

38 minutes ago, High Exposure said:

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

...and have enough lube.

It's a trap

9 minutes ago, BlueLineFish said:

It's a trap

Are you sure?

Yup..somehow she will know you looked. They have crazy powers

Step 1.  Wrap it up with wrapping paper you already have.

Step 2.  Put another Amazon box in its place.

Step 3.  Put your New ghat inside that box and wrap it up AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A TOTALLY NEW WRAPPING PAPER.  This way she thinks it's the one she got you.

Step 4.  Open it on Christmas morning and be like, thanks boo!

Step 5.  Make a baby that night.

I’m waiting for @Mrs. Peel before I disseminate further 

2 minutes ago, Zeke said:

I’m waiting for @Mrs. Peel before I disseminate further 

Ohhh... all I'll say is: how could you boys take this sweet, innocent original post (a childlike joy of Christmas presents)... and turn it into something so nasty? It's like some kind of rare talent or something (I suppose)....

3 minutes ago, Mrs. Peel said:

Ohhh... all I'll say is: how could you boys take this sweet, innocent original post (a childlike joy of Christmas presents)... and turn it into something so nasty? It's like some kind of rare talent or something (I suppose)....

Peel, how long have you been on this forum now?  Have you learned nothing?

1 minute ago, Scorpio64 said:

Peel, how long have you been on this forum now?  Have you learned nothing?

The depths of depravity around here NEVER ceases to amaze me! True dat.

^^^^ good story 

1 hour ago, voyager9 said:

Given the size I was thinking vibrator but she said it was for me... which made me a little concerned. 

Boom @Mrs. Peel

Little secret. IF you Both have Facebook and you Both use Amazon. What I will tell you contains a double edge sword. It can come back and cut you.

Most people never check ad settings or info shares. IF neither has been set, you will see what she was browsing on your FB and hers as ads between threads. Ads like any others but ads that pertain to what either have you been searching and/or buying.

Be forewarned. It almost cost me a very expensive surprise for her. She’s not as web savvy as me and thankfully she never caught on. After I gave her the surprise is how I found out. She doesn’t have an Amazon account but both of us have our own FB accounts. Effing Amazon shares their crap with FB. Home Depot does too.

No guarantees this will work for you but it was consistent till I found where to stop all that nonsense.

Use this info wisely grasshoppa. I say no more. [emoji6]


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