Handyman

Sad fact is, if the races are this close in Florida that a recount is even in the picture, Florida is already gone.

Call Roscoe!

Eager, and gay.

55 grand for a dog? GTFO. Most of the dogs I have owned were damn near free. Hell, some of them were lucky to escape Chinese restaurants.

Screw it. I don't have fire extinguishers. That's what the fire department is for. Just like I don't have any guns. I just call the police.

Donor cycle? Motor scalpel?

The High Point pistol is good for pistol whipping someone, that's about all. If you want to load it and pull the trigger, I'd use your non-dominant hand.

She's probably qualified by virtue of being married to you.

I think you have to be certified as an a-hole before you are allowed to use BMW products. There's probably a test you can take at a dealer.

A law abiding citizen well trained with a firearm is our nation's best defense against this kind of madness. Perhaps its only real defense.

Guaranteed, with 100% certainty: they will find out some day that vaping has horrific long-term side effects. Lung tissue is fragile and doesn't want to be fumigated with volatile chemicals. These folks are going to show an increased incidence of pulmonary fibrosis 20 years down the road. Don't put anything in your lungs but air.

Good luck bro. Cold turkey is the way to go - studies show it has the most durable effect. It takes the average Joe about 6 tries to successfully quit. You need to get in a mindset of exerting control over cigarettes. If you can smoke one less a day, that is a start. If you can take one out, and then wait 5 minutes before smoking it, that's also good. You have to start proving to yourself that you are in control.

Nothing ruins a good cut of meat quite like horseradish. Not even horses eat that stuff.

If you need a backdrop, I can supply a picture of me with a rose clenched in my teeth.

In fairness, Almost anything > Polynesian Meatloaf

What's a dealers profit margin on a used vehicle? They give you 14,000 for a trade and price it at what?

Hi Car Guys - So my nephew from the totaled car thread is looking to buy a used "certified" CR-V from a Honda dealer. He's looking at lease turn-ins that have around 30,000 miles on them. I've only bought used cars from civilians, never from a dealer. Anything he should look out for? I know they sometimes have some ridiculous tack on fees for things. Online, it looks like a CR-V with that mileage is priced by the dealers around $17000. What's a good offer to pitch with? If the car was being traded into a dealer, most of the online info says you could expect $13,800 - 14,200 range. How much profit is a dealer looking to make on a used vehicle?

Build the wall!

This pretty much meets the definition of "owned."

Is this thing clothing optional? Can I grab Zeke's boob?

So the town makes money off the car crashes in its jurisdiction? And then they have the gall to charge for a copy of the accident report? Seems like a system expertly designed to allow for kickbacks and bribery.

Money to who? The towing company pays the town to be on the roster? How is that not a kickback scheme...

I don't even know what I just watched. That was surreal. It was like a Salvador Dali painting come to life. The little guy moves pretty quick, I'll grant him that. Good thing he was in Canada. In the US, the Americans with Diasabilites Act would have given him the same right to have his ass kicked as everyone else.

RTSP? I can't even afford the air in there.

Sounds like a scummy business run by scummy people taking advantage of other people in bad circumstances. It's sort of like Congress, only on wheels.