Subject: The lawyer
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn't say he had no children because he couldn't lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie).
So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.
He loved one of the homes and the price was right.
The agent asked:"How many children do you have?"
He answered: "Twelve."
The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother."
MORAL: It's not necessary to lie; one has only to choose the right words. Don't forget - most politicians are lawyers.
Hey, I just heard Sweet Baby Ray's is a good antiviral. Slather it on real good, it's uhh, uh, whatchacallit, a transdermal therapy. Oh, and maybe, could you put some aluminum foil on the couch before you lay down. And, for no particular reason, just leave the food dehydrator out..... Someone will be over to check if you are don... doing okay.