The Speech I Should Have Made

[Jeff 13]

I wasn't able to attend the hearings on the 13th. But even if I was, I probably wouldn't have thought of this. I have a gift for thinking of the right thing to stay long after it would have been helpful. But I've been formulating this in my head ever since that day. I took a page from the Stephen Colbert playbook, like the speech he gave at the press association dinner or breakfast or whatever it was and lampooned W.

 

Anyway, here it is. Will there be a hearing in the Senate? If so, I'd give this speech, or donate it to someone else who's a good speaker:

 

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April 16, 2007, Virginia Tech-- 32 people murdered by a deranged madman. January 8, 2011, Tucson, AZ-- 6 people murdered by a deranged madman. Friday, July 20, 2012-- Aurora, CO, 12 people murdered by a deranged madman. December 14, 2012, Newtown, CT-- 26 murdered by a deranged madman.

 

I agree with politicians here in New Jersey and around the country-- enough is enough. Something must be done.

 

And clearly, the most logical response, the only sane and common-sense response to the atrocities committed by madmen... in other states... is by increasing restrictions on the law-abiding citizens in the state of New Jersey.

 

Criminals across the country should be on notice. Your rampage will not take place-- New Jersey forbids it. You will not have 30-round magazines-- New Jersey has banned them. You cannot purchase hundreds of rounds of ammunition on the internet-- New Jersey will not allow it. Our laws here in New Jersey will echo throughout the criminal underground in all of America, and thwart their plans for evil. Something must be done.

 

The constitution is outdated. Those words written centuries ago no longer have resonance in today's modern world. Clearly, the founding fathers erred, using the word 'arms' in the second amendment, when we know for a fact that they meant to write 'muskets'. Constitutional scholars no less formidable than Piers Morgan have told me thus. And who better to school Americans on the meaning of the constitution than a subject of the British crown. Unlike pro-gun fanatics, he comes at this subject objectively, with no preconceived notions, prejudices, knowledge, or experience. It is emotion that matters, not intellect. Style matters, not substance. Common sense matters, not facts. Something must be done.

 

Addressing the issue of mental health should be our top priority, but that is too hard to tackle. This is America in 2013, not the 1960's. John Kennedy is dead. We will not do things because they are difficult, complex, and expensive. We will do things that are easy, expedient, and ineffectual... because something must be done.

 

The time for reasoned debate is over, particularly since it never took place. The correct course of action is to enact legislation as quickly as possible. Rushed legislation is the best legislation. The only failure is that New York was first. We have not acted quickly enough.

 

Something must be done. These laws are something. These laws must be done.

[SgtToadette 59]

IMHO, I think one of the leading reasons why the committee zoned-out was because the 'oppose all' testimonies quickly became preachy, arrogant, insulting, and didn't deal with the actual bills at hand. While I appreciate the sentiment in the speeches, it wasn't going to change their minds. Point out flaws with individual bills was far more productive. I remember at least two occasions where Assembly members suggested that their perspective changed based on the criticism of the individual bills. The crowd wasn't civil, either. Heckling was uncalled for.

[Jeff 13]

Probably true. Oh well, it made me feel good to write it. Sometimes a little biting satire can show just how stupid some of these laws are. But my guess would be that it would sail over the heads of most NJ legislators.

[SgtToadette 59]

Probably true. Oh well, it made me feel good to write it. Sometimes a little biting satire can show just how stupid some of these laws are. But my guess would be that it would sail over the heads of most NJ legislators.

 

Don't get me wrong. I like the premise and it's always good exercise to put your views down on paper. The more you write about what you believe, the more effectual you are in articulating those beliefs.

[Handyman 5,682]

IMHO, I think one of the leading reasons why the committee zoned-out was because the 'oppose all' testimonies quickly became preachy, arrogant, insulting, and didn't deal with the actual bills at hand. While I appreciate the sentiment in the speeches, it wasn't going to change their minds. Point out flaws with individual bills was far more productive. I remember at least two occasions where Assembly members suggested that their perspective changed based on the criticism of the individual bills. The crowd wasn't civil, either. Heckling was uncalled for.

 

The time for civility is gone. Legislators need to be afraid. Afraid of the people and the consequences of their actions.

[woodentoe 14]

 

The time for civility is gone. Legislators need to be afraid. Afraid of the people and the consequences of their actions.

 

Pack a bag. Start stretching, right Yeager?

[raz-0 1,259]

IMHO, I think one of the leading reasons why the committee zoned-out was because the 'oppose all' testimonies quickly became preachy, arrogant, insulting, and didn't deal with the actual bills at hand. While I appreciate the sentiment in the speeches, it wasn't going to change their minds. Point out flaws with individual bills was far more productive. I remember at least two occasions where Assembly members suggested that their perspective changed based on the criticism of the individual bills. The crowd wasn't civil, either. Heckling was uncalled for.

 

Hey, I talked about the bills, they threatened to throw me out, so... All you needed to know was said at the opening by mainer. HE said we aren't here to discuss changes to the bills, we are here to pass these out of committee.

 

The heckling is the only thing that made an impact, mainly because the press was there. If not for the vocal dissatisfaction of the crowd in combination with the presence of the press, we would have been given false instructions and been denied the right to speak at all. They weren't there to listen, regardless of how the process is supposed to work. Almost all of the feedback from non committee assembly members has been due to notice being taken of how many people are so very pissed off by this.

 

Mainer can take it any way he chooses. Being called on your lies over and over isn't over the line, and becoming more aggravated as time passes and the frequency of the lies increases isn't out of line.

[rightisright 3]

I don't think Mainor or Cryan would have understood the sarcasm. Maybe if you added some doodie and pee pee jokes....