emptyshell 0 Posted January 6, 2011 Subject: Personal Ad THIS IS AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD FROM THE " SAVANNAH TRIBUNE" NEWSPAPER ........ AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Bur berry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 ...45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
67gtonut 847 Posted January 6, 2011 Good one.... Old one.... ..... and not real http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bry@n 195 Posted January 6, 2011 http://www.snopes.com/images/content-divider.gif Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NJdiverTony 27 Posted January 6, 2011 Good one.... Old one.... ..... and not real http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Aww man... too bad it's not real! I would have loved to see something like that happen to a POS criminal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malsua 1,422 Posted January 6, 2011 The other part of the story that annoys me is that somehow almost getting assaulted gives permission to the "victim" to proceed to commit credit card fraud and grand theft. When we had this same thread nearly a year ago, I knew immediately it was an urban legend and I didn't find it funny then either. It's just asinine. If you're going to carry a gun, be an adult, don't turn into a punk. An adult would have held the thief at gunpoint and called the cops and washed his hands of the entire matter but I guess it wouldn't have been "funny". Here's the last go round: http://njgunforums.com/forum/index.php?/topic/11396-an-email-for-your-enjoyment/page__view__findpost__p__148854__hl__embarrassment__fromsearch__1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vjf915 456 Posted January 6, 2011 Seen it before. It was funny the first time I read it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robot_hell 72 Posted January 6, 2011 Every time I read this it seems to get longer and more ridiculous 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bulpup 98 Posted January 6, 2011 Makes you wonder why anyone would write it in the first place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drew 4 Posted January 7, 2011 I always liked this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abeEYrhkV8A 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vjf915 456 Posted January 7, 2011 I always liked this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abeEYrhkV8A Those ignorant guys got exactly what they deserved. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites