Helping a Kid w/ a F---ed-up Life

[jgofnj 5]

Promise to give us an update about 6 months after she gets released. I am sure we would all like to know how she made out and hopefully the story is that she turned her life around for the better.

[Springfield1911 22]

If she is already talking about getting back with her boyfriend from the past that had the same drug addiction problems she has then she has already failed in her recovery.

[Spartiati 63]

You mention a few times the boy friend is responsible for her actions and is the reason she took the wrong psth. At the end of the day it her fault and no one elses. She made a decision to steal and put the poison in her body.

 

I know its a tough thing to step back, but until she makes the decision to clean up you will be wasting your time. She needs to now earn your help by demonstating first she is committed to changing her life.

[RS1200XL 4]

Her boyfriend is offering her something she wasn't finding at home. Is she in any kind of counseling or therapy now?

 

To add something else to this; has she ever been to a counselor? To me it sounds like something happened when she was 16 to turn a 180 like that. There may be something underlying that might explain this behavior and attraction to this guy.

[MikeL417 33]

You have a heart man but sadly she seems to not mind this happening to her. As cold as it sounds, a person who is introduced to a prison atmosphere usually goes back to a life of crime after being released. If she stuck with him and is planning on "running off" with this guy then I'm afraid that you wont have much influence. Get her a good lawyer, show her your love and try your best. More power to you and I wish her and yourself the best.

[KpdPipes 388]

Thanks, All.

Great advice from everyone.

I realized that I can’t subtract. My niece will actually be almost 25 when she get out. I can’t believe it has been 9 years.

 

As doing nothing is not an option (my wife needs to do something or she will never forgive herself), we will make a concerted effort to invest in our niece in the time we have. She will be allowed to have visitors soon and at some point they will let her leave for day trips. We will make her a priority and try to get her into a positive support group, church, and all the other suggestions. All good advice.

 

The reason I posted this in the Legal forum is my wife was actually hoping we could get a restraining order or if there was something the “Nanny State” could do. I told her that I highly doubt it and I would not want to live in a State that is able to interfere in personal relationships (I think my wife might be a closet Statist), but I would see if anyone knew of anything.

 

Also, does anyone know of any jobs program or other assistance for recovering addicts that we can look into? For all the “services” this State offers, there does not seem to be much support for situations like this.

 

Restraining orders in NJ are only issued for Domestic Violence, so that option is out..while it IS possible for the court to issue an RO against the wishes of the victim, I've seen it happen only twice in 25 years, and in both of those cases there was a real, demonstrable threat to the life of the victim, and she was so afraid of the spouse she wouldnt do anything to help herself. As far as what everyone else has said, The ONLY adice i can give you is if you do try to help your neice, Have a good, Solid safe or two, and ANY valuables have to be locked up at all times, including prescription Drugs. My wife allowed a friend of hers to stay overnight with us.of course I found out about it at around 2300 after getting home from working a double :-/. We knew she had had a problem but we both thought she was clean. Suffice it to say she wasn't, and took a bunch of my wife's medication, amongst the usual "Junkie Trash" (Shampoo, makeup, sponges..silly crap) and ended up spending the better part of a week in the Mon County jail. Addicts dont change unless THEY want to, and they will lie, and steal without any remorse to get what they need.

[quikz 34]

My only advice to you that I haven't heard being touched upon is....

 

If she can be found out that she is 'mentally unstable (would not be a surprise) she can be admitted to any crisis unit in a hospital, if and when she becomes a danger to herself or others. Thereafter, the hospital would enter her into another more permanent facility, that if she was admitted to involuntarily to begin with, she would not be allowed to leave for a period of time. Besides mentally ill people, there are plenty of junkies shared into this system. Now if she kicks and screams unrepentantly enough, if she actually is mental, then her final destination could be a place like Ancora Psychiatric Hospital.

 

You and your abode is NOT a hospital or secured rehabilitative facility. I personally would NEVER allow an addict of this or similar type under my roof. I have gone to a 26 year old herion addicts funeral before. Not good. And even though he fell into herion quickly and was an avid shooter and sportsman. I even warned him that i d beat him in competition shooting, which i did, knocking him out of the running, but he was cool, as long as we as a team win the division which we did -lol. (I even went to range with him once), he still respected his guns, while turning more and more into a junkie. He died in the back of a restaurant, police arrived hrs too late, he was already dead w 6? bags of herion, but his guns were secured and locked away elsewhere far away, not in his truck where he died.

 

Start the process and put her away.

[DevsAdvocate 112]

Ok, forget the pigs, how about the Bone Crusher from the movie Nothing But Trouble.

 

Seriously, if you don't get rid of him then keep-away from her, nothing good is going to happen once he is around again.

 

+1 because the movie takes place in NJ... lol